NOVEMBER 16, 2008

UNDY 5000

Wow - I wish I had taken more pictures, or gotten video, or been able to somehow share with you all the amazing walk/run from yesterday. It was spectacular. 

First, I have to start by saying that my mom and my wonderful friend, Amie, pulled it off. Amie lives in TN, and she and I have been friends for years....I haven't seen her in almost ten years, and we keep saying that we need to get together. Well, she and my mom worked together, and Amie flew in late Friday night, and surprised me yesterday morning. It was such an amazing surprise....Amie, thank you SO MUCH for making the trip. It made the walk all the more special. 

Saturday morning, we all got up way before the sunrise (and got the surprise from Amie - even Levi didn't know she was here...) and got ready. Breakfast, kids, supplies, etc. Mom had spent all day Friday making up team tee shirts - pictures are below. They are royal blue, of course, which is the color for the colon cancer ribbon, and on the front have a heart design saying (what else) MICHELLE WILL WIN!!! She also put the blue ribbon on the front of the shirts. The back of the shirt had my information: Diagnosed May 23, 2008. Stage 3 Colon Cancer. 32 years old. Surgery and Chemo. And then my website information. And, above that, to indicate who each person was, Mom put either "My Daughter" or "My Mother" or "My Wife" or "My Friend". They came out amazing! 

So, we are all dressed, and head out to the walk, which was a 45 minute drive away. Not a problem, until we hit road debris on the freeway, causing us to have to pull over to check for damage. Not fun - we were very lucky in that the only major damage was to Levi's truck, and in that, only the grill was damaged. Another bill we can't pay, but what else is new???

We get back on the road and head to the park, and you wouldn't believe the people there. It was jam packed, and it wasn't even race time yet. We got parked, decorated the wagon and wheelchair, and got over to the tents to get our packets. Well, the lines for both the pre-registered participants and the "need-to-register" people were SO long they ended up delaying the start of the race. AWESOME!!!! We waited in line, and saw so many people while we were there....and, we started to get a feel for the "outfits" people were wearing. Again, picture below. 

Once we got to the registration tent, I got to pick up mom's and my packets, and my tee shirt and boxers, which proudly proclaim that I am a survivor, right across the butt!!! I met a couple more people while I was getting those things, and that was awesome, since I wanted to find them and had no idea how I was going to. LOL! The turnout was unbelievable. 

Once we got our stuff, we kind of tried to head to the starting line, and ended up getting a good view of the platform from which they did the opening announcements, allowed my surgeon Dr McConnell and my wonderful friend Betty Rose DeCarlo to speak, and then had a (and I am NOT kidding you!!!) guy in a speedo and a short shirt (think 80s) sing the National Anthem. It was priceless...

Then, the walkers started, off we went. It was such a beautiful day, and I met more people along the wy, including Kim who was also recently diagnosed with Colon Cancer (shout out, girl!!!). I also saw Jim, a gentleman I met from The Wellness Community, and his wife Lorna, along with countless others along the way. Once we got back to the starting/finish line, we were able to get out and look at some of the other tents, to meet with some other people, and to cheer on the other participants as they came through the finish line. 

Overall, the race was a huge success. On Friday, they only had 750 people registered - yesterday, they had over 1200!!! And, supposedly (I hope this is true) we had more people participate in this walk/run than both the Dallas and Philly races COMBINED!!!!

So, as requested, below are some pictures. I am so sorry that there aren't more. It was a crazy day, and I was so entrenched in what was happening that I just forgot that I had the camera there. It was an emotional day, taking part as a cancer patient rather than just supporting the cause, and honestly, I can't wait for next year's race. I can't wait to be able to walk through the race and through the memorial garden as a survivor, and to walk through it of my own accord. Remember - I will be asking for your help again next year. Start planning - I want to come in there with a huge team, a huge donation, and a wonderful message of survival and hope. 

Here's a picture of my team (minus my Dad and brothers....). Left to right - there's Kevin, my mom, Amie, Julia, me and Levi.

Okay, so the race is called the Undy 5000 for a reason - we are trying to raise awareness of colon cancer, and what covers your butt? Your undies. The people in charge of the race advertise that people should plan to race in their undies, and several people took this to heart, including this team here. I had to laugh, too - as they were coming across the finish line, Julia would cover her eyes and say "I didn't just see that..." LOL!

Julia showing off her shirt - isn't she gorgeous?!?!

The back of the tee shirts...

And, the team banner that the Undy provided us with. Obviously, I kept mine.

Comments:

jnwhiteh said...

Wow guys you really outdid yourselves. I'm so glad the event was able to raise so much awareness. I miss you guys all so much!

November 16, 2008 at 4:12 PM

 Amy Largenton said...

wow tshirts came out great glad everything went well

November 16, 2008 at 6:11 PM

 Phil, Sharon & Rachael said...

I was thinking about you all day Saturday. What an awesome day it looked like - I just wish we could've been there. Mmm... we keep talking about a roadtrip - maybe we can ALL plan on walking next year!??!?! Or maybe we could even meet at a different city's walk! Oh, the options! :) I'm so glad it went well - the team gear looked amazing! :)

November 17, 2008 at 7:51 AM

 Amanda: said...

How fun! That's how I feel about the Relay for Life. It's hard, but it feels SO GOOD to be out there "making a difference"!! For us, each year our special event (the Relay) is better and better than the last :) Especially the farther out we get from the EVIL CANCER.

I'm so glad you were able to be a part of something like that!

November 17, 2008 at 10:07 AM

NOVEMBER 14, 2008

Round 11 - COMPLETE

Finished Round 11 yesterday. It was better than round 10, mainly b/c they discontinued that O drug, which made me so sick to my stomach and gave me the awful neuropathy and cold sensitivity.

This round started out easily enough - the nausea wasn't too bad- I suppose I would say it was more like a queasiness more than anything. I was still pretty tired, especially once the 5FU (pump drug) started really hitting the system. So, I have slept quite a bit, especially yesterday. I got my Neulasta shot (to boost my white blood cell count) yesterday, and today I feel like I was hit by a truck, but that's all pretty normal. And, with these drugs building up in my system, I imagine that I won't feel great for a while. Fun.

Last night, I was exhausted, even after two naps yesterday, so I took an Ativan (the magic drug), fell asleep, and pretty much slept through the night, with the exception of the half-hour that it took for our kitten to get comfy on me at 3am. Woke up this morning feeling pretty good, but I am still tired, so I know that I need to take it easy today, especially with the plans I have for tomorrow with the Undy 5000. So, the recovery will be easier this round, though I know that I still need to take it easy.

Regarding the Undy 5000 tomorrow, we are going to have to be out of the house by 6:30. Not fun. But, the walk starts at 8:00, and we need to park, get breakfast, get the kids ready, etc. It will be an early day, but that's all right- it's for such a good cause.

I think that's about it. I am trying not to focus on the fact that the next round of chemo might be my last - I am really working to keep a realistic attitude, but in all honesty, I am happy about seeing the end be SO CLOSE. The thought of being able to celebrate the end of chemo, of being able to spend a month where I don't need to schedule life around chemo - well, it's an amazing hope.

Think of us tomorrow - 8am. Undy 5000. Kiwanis Park in Tempe. And, I will post pictures when I am awake again....LOL!

Comments:

Jennifer Witham Buck / Graceful Expressions said...

way to go, Michelle!
We will be thinking of you tomorrow!
Love ya!
Jen

November 14, 2008 at 9:57 AM

NOVEMBER 8, 2008

PLEASE Support My Team

This coming Saturday is the Phoenix Undy 5000 walk/run at the Kiwanis Park in Tempe, at the corner of Mill Ave and Baseline Road. (Ironically, this is literally kiddy-korner from our first apartment in AZ.....) Race start time is 8am. Please plan to be there by 7:30, if you haven't already registered. Word has it that there are over 800 people registered for this race already, and many more are expected. If you are planning to walk with us, please go to my team webpage and register today.

If you aren't local or can't be here with us on that day, please click on the link to the right titled "Support My Team Here - Michelle Will Win!!!" This will take you to my personal webpage for the race, and you can make a donation through that website. I know times are tough, and believe me, I understand completely about not having extra money. But, please consider donating $1. $5. $10. Every red cent we can get will get us that much closer to getting the word out to everyone, and to finding a cure for this horrible disease.

To those of you that have already donated, you are my angels, and no words can describe my gratitude for your support.

Think back to last month. While you were out at Target/Wal-Mart/any store, did you see anything pink? Last month was Breast Cancer Awareness month. Did you make the choice to purchase something pink to support that cause? Did you make a donation, or take part in a walk/run?

Colon Cancer Awareness month isn't until March, but I implore you - PLEASE think blue this month. Royal blue is the ribbon color for colon cancer, and I proudly wear my blue colon cancer bracelet and my yellow "LiveStrong" bracelet every day. This cause means so much to me, and your support would mean the world to me, and to my family. Please consider whatever you spent on "pink" last month, and match it this month. Was it a small bag of pink M&Ms? Then donate $2 to the CCA. Did you buy a pink ribbon? There's another $1. It adds up, and quickly.

I am already over my fundraising goal, and it would be a true inspiration to be able to say that I not only met my goal, but I blew it out of the water. I can't do that without you, just as I can't fight this disease without you. PLEASE consider donating anything you can to my cause.

And, I will make you all proud. In spite of having chemo next week, I will be participating in this race, even though it means we will all have to be out of the house by 6:30 on Saturday morning. Since I will be taking part in a wheelchair, I hope to have lots of pictures to post on the blog next weekend.

Thank you in advance for your support. It means more to me than you could ever understand.

Comments:

Amanda: said...

GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!! You guys are gonna be great at the fundraiser! Can't wait to see pics!

November 14, 2008 at 8:18 AM

NOVEMBER 6, 2008

It's a better day....

Today is a better day. While I am still not 100%, I am feeling better. And, I think it has to do with a couple of things. 

First, Levi and I talked. Well, mostly I talked and he listened. I needed to let him know what was going on in my head, mainly b/c he has been around so much and is the person taking the brunt of my bitchiness. And, it was a great talk. I was able to get some things off my chest, he was able to get some off of his, and we came to an understanding about where I am mentally and emotionally. It was good because now I have given him some of the tools he needs to help me get through what I am dealing with. And, talking always helps. 

I also went to the doctors yesterday. We are going to discontinue the Oxalipalantin (that's the drug that I am having so much difficulty with - and, the one that is causing the peripheral neuropathy and cold sensitivity - ice cream sundae, here I come...eventually). That's such a relief. There is no long-term effect from stopping at this point, and I found out that most people end up stopping this drug by this point due to side effects or allergic reactions, so I did pretty well! We will continue on schedule with the other two drugs, and I am scheduled for my next PET scan on December 29th, Levi's and my 7th wedding anniversary. I hope that is a good sign!

I spoke with the PA about my depression, and he said that's perfectly normal and prescribed an anti-depressant. Then, a good friend of mine told me about a program through work that will provide me with some free counseling sessions, and I am going to pursue that route first. I think that I can work through this on my own, with some professional help, and for now, that's what I am going to do, knowing that I always have the drugs as backup, if I need them. Some people don't agree with my decision, but that's what I am going to do. I feel like this is the right decision for me, and that's all that matters right now.

What else? I think that's about it. People have been so supportive about my depression, and are giving me such wonderful advice. Please know that I am thinking about everything you have sent to me, and considering all options. It has been such a boon knowing that you all support me through this, and truly, that's what helps me get up in the morning. 

I received two comments that I want to respond to here, b/c I don't have their emails. First, to the lady who was diagnosed the same day as me - girl, I feel you! Do I ever. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts, and that if you ever need to talk, all you have to do is say the word. Maureen, my angel, you are also in my thoughts. I got your message, and am going to see if your dr is in my network. I am thinking of you and your family each day, and know that I am sending all chemo cancer warriors to you. Anything I can do, PLEASE let me know. 

To the rest of you, again, thank you so much for your support. I need it now more than ever.

Comments:

Freedom Runner said...

Three cheers for your decision to hold off on the medication for the depression! :o) Especially after chemo, you want to clean your system out--not put more crap into it.

Also glad to hear that you and your husband had a heart-to-heart. I have only been married 18 months, but I learned very quickly that men are not mind readers (heck, none of us are), and that when you do have an honest conversation with them and articulate what's going on in your head, they can be surprisingly compassionate and helpful in solving problems.

You go girl! Hang in there!

November 6, 2008 at 6:46 PM

 Young Family said...

I love you, Michelle - I am so completely sorry that you are in so much pain - physically, mentally, emotionally. I just don't know what else to say or do for you, and I wish I lived closer and could do a million things. Please know that I think of you, pray for you, and love you every day!

Stephenie

November 6, 2008 at 7:35 PM

 Melanie said...

Michelle... don't worry about whether you should take the depression meds or not. They are there to help and there is nothing wrong in your situation to feel like you shouldn't have to taken them. I had to when I found out that my neuropathy from my spinal problems was going to be permanent (yea, it's be a joy ride.) Do what you think is best for your own personal feelings. Don't worry about drugs vs no drugs. If you need them, take them. If you don't, then don't. What's more important is that you feel as good as you can. And if drugs help, then it's hopefully temporary.

Love and always thinking of ya... still waiting to hear when we're hitting Vegas! Just say when... today, tomorrow, next month, next summer... I'LL BE THERE! LOL!

November 8, 2008 at 12:38 PM

Later:

Halloween Pictures

Here are some pictures of the kids from Halloween.

Julia was a black cat (her choice) and Kevin was Woody from the Disney/Pixar movie Toy Story.

He wasn't happy with me about this costume, and I wish I had better pictures - you should have seen him with the cowboy hat. Just adorable.

The next two pictures might get me divorced, but it might be worth it. Mom brought her traditional Halloween costume back from Syracuse with her, and we forced Levi into it. How do you NOT laugh at these?!?!

Levi flipping me off. As I am posting these pictures, he is telling me that he won't "put out" any more if I post them. You tell me, is it worth it??!

Comments:

Jennifer Witham Buck / Graceful Expressions said...

oh Heck yeah...
oh man...
woah.
i am speechless.
thanks for sharing... that totally made my night.
the kids are adorable and so is levi!
love ya!

November 6, 2008 at 8:23 PM

 Amanda: said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Love it! I think Levi makes a great Eeyore. Besides, dammit, you've been through hell and back - you deserve to post pics that make you laugh out loud!!!

November 7, 2008 at 9:09 AM

 The Wallen's and Begins said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
oh my word I snorted & wheezed!

Levi you look so cute I cannot wait to show Dave.

November 7, 2008 at 2:23 PM

 Phil, Sharon & Rachael said...

Awesome!! Like I said... Levi's a big boy, so if he got wrestled into wearing it and on TOP of that stuck around to have his picture taken, he has NOTHING to complain about! :) :) :) Levi, my darling - you make a lovely @ss ;-)

November 7, 2008 at 2:30 PM

 Young Family said...

So worth it! I LOVE it - I can't believe Levi let you do that AND let you take a picture!

On to #11!!! Woo hoo!! When will you find out if you need 12 or 13?

Love you!

November 10, 2008 at 8:49 PM

NOVEMBER 4, 2008

Cancer

A quick thought....

Yesterday in group, we spoke a bit about the word cancer, and what it means. How cancer is considered to be a disease, and nothing more than that. Someone brought up how, for the cancer patient and their families and friends, cancer becomes so much more than a disease. It becomes a way of life, a factor that you have to take into consideration with everything you do, at least for the short-term. For me, cancer has literally changed everything - my relationships with people, my outlook on life, how I view everything from food to people to politics to my kids.....

It's an a complete and total lie if someone tells you life can resume as normal after cancer, at least immediately. That's what I am finding out, and that's what I am learning. I am (God willing) at the end of my treatment regime - 2 or 3 more week of chemo, and a PET scan at the end of December to determine if I am officially in remission. It has occurred to me recently that my life is never going to go back to where it was before....that my life will never again be the same. And, I think I am starting to mourn that loss. 

On a personal note, I feel like there are people in my life who expect things to go back to normal, and I am struggling with how to help them realize that I can't go back to that life, at least not in December, once I am through with chemo. I get the impression that people think that things will just bounce back to the "normal" from May. I can't. I am physically dealing with a lot, and word has it that it's going to take my body anywhere from 6 months to 2 years to fully get rid of the chemo, and to finally start to feel "normal" again. Two years. Can you imagine that, on top of what I have been through? Is it any wonder that I am depressed? 

Cancer. 6 little letters, and such a HUGE effect on those who are dealing with it, whether as patients or caregivers. It's such a life-altering experience, and I can't imagine that I am ever going to be the same. This is going to be such a turning point for me - at least the others in my life, I have had some control over. This one, I had no warning, no prep time, no way to get ready for it. You just get body slammed with this news, and then have to deal with the repercussions. 

So, I know that this is part of what I am internally struggling with. I am fighting a battle with myself, in trying to accept that I can't go back to the old normal. And, I am now fighting a battle with how to deal with the other people in my life that I feel aren't accepting that I CAN'T go back. Interally, there is a way at hand, between the cancer cells and the chemo. There is also a war at hand in my mind, on how to handle these things. I am seriously considering setting an appointment with a psychologist. I think that I need more help than I am currently getting, mentally, to deal with what I am going through. If you are in the Phoenix area, and can make a suggestion, please let me know. Preferably West Valley! 

And, with that, I sign off.....I woke up in another "bad mood" this morning, so I don't think that bodes well for my day. Although, it is Election Day - did you vote? I did - thank goodness for early balloting!

Comments:

maurmm said...

Hi Michelle,
This is Maureen Obit from chemo. I just started seeing a counselor for my depression and how to deal with my cancer. She is fantastic and I thought I would share with you. Her name is Kathleen Driscoll, R.N., M.A., L.P.C.
ther number is 623-979-4141. I think you would like her a lot.
I had some bad news today from the dr. My tumor markers are on the rise, they went from 200 to 1000. I will be going for a CAT SAN tomorrow to see how things are looking. I am scared to death to find out bt I need to know if things are getting worse. I hope I see you again in chemo. It was nice meeting you.
Take care,
Maureen

November 4, 2008 at 6:09 PM

 Amanda: said...

Michelle,
When we were going through our "war on cancer", we had to learn that same lesson. Things don't EVER go back to "normal" in the old sense. But, what does happen, is that "old normal" is replaced with a "new normal". I used to joke about our "new normal", but we are getting close to 5 years out and it never went back to the way it was.

But, I will tell you this... with the blessing of time, there are times (every once in a while) when I am thankful for what we had to go through. A lot of good came from our battle for Joshua's life, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. But, some days I do wish cancer was something I didn't have so much personal experience with...

Hang in there. And, people don't "get it" unless they've gone through it. They might be sympathetic, and sorry, and try their hardest to understand, but they just DON'T (no disrespect to anyone... I didn't get it either until we lived through it). Not the way we do. And I don't even "get it" like Joshua does, since he's the one who was waging the war for survival. Not that he understands it yet, but when he grows up, he will.

There will always be people who will expect you to go back to "normal", but you are never going to be the same again, and some people just can't imagine how huge that really is.

November 5, 2008 at 8:43 AM

 bflikke said...

Hi Michelle, 
I have been from time to time following your blog. May 23, 2008, I was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 32. At the time I had my MRI and PET/CT scan. The scans diagnosed me as a T3N1 stage, but my doctor was so sure it was wrong. I had a surgery called a TEM (newer procedure). So 4 mos went by and I was hoping that life would somehow go back to "normal", but was waiting on my 4 mo ultrasound just to make sure. Bad news-the lymph node was in fact involved. My PET/CT was yesterday and I am again awaiting the results. Life as I knew it left me when I heard the word "CANCER". It's such an ugly and life changing word for sure! It's not so much that I am worried for myself either, it's what I have to put my family through. Like you, I have two kids and a husband and I just pray to god that they can get through this journey and not hate me for putting them there. Your blog inspires me to push on. Stay positive!!!!

November 6, 2008 at 10:17 AM

 mylilgizmo said...

Hi Michelle,
My name is Beth and I'm 32 years old. I'm having my colonoscopy on the 18th Nov. and I expect to be told I have cancer. I've had symptoms for a couple years that I didn't recognize as a problem (thought it was just me). Now I'm worried about how advanced the cancer will be due to my ignoring it. I'm also married with 4 kids under 6. Your blog is not only inspiring but also informative. Thank you.

November 13, 2008 at 9:59 PM