FEBRUARY 7, 2012

Recovery Continues....

Has it really been a month since I posted last?  Wow - sorry about that.  I guess I haven't really felt like there's been much to post about, but I'm sure that will change here soon.  :)   You know me - I like to chat.

Well, I am happy to report that I've been able to keep the pain under some semblence of control with the help of Advil and exercise.  After some really bad days and trying to figure out how I could learn to function in this new reality, I found that working out has truly made all the difference in my pain level.  I'm not talking about hard-core lifting; rather, just walking for 30-40 minutes each day allows me to live my life with very little back pain.  Can it possibly be that easy?

Apparently.

You'd think, at this point in my recovery from cancer, that I'd be much more aware of the effects of exercise on my body.  Alas, it seems to have taken yet another surgery and back pain so bad I wanted to die to get me to realize that staying active is the key.

*crickets chirping*

Yes, I'm that dense.  But, I'm also glad that my back pain can be relieved by something as simple as walking.  As long as I'm active, I feel better.  The pain isn't gone for good - I'm not sure it ever will be.  However, I'm much happier only having to take Advil once a day or once every couple of days, rather than 800 mg every 4 hours (which was what I was doing at the height of the pain).  My liver is much happier, too.

So, my regimen the last couple of weeks has been to make sure I walk each day.  Now, y'all know I'm a busybody and don't have much free time, so the question begs to be asked:  How do I find the time, right?  I MAKE IT HAPPEN.  It has become priority for me.  I have had to make decisions based on need, versus want.  I can't let this slide without repercussions, and thus, taking care of me has finally jumped to the top of the priority list.  You might ask, what's fallen off the list, or has been deemed "not as important?"  In all honesty?  Cleaning my house.  I let it slide more than I normally do, but here's the thing - the payoff is well worth it.  Being able to physically clean my house every couple of weeks, rather than every couple of days, is a trade-off I'm willing to make because it means I am *able* to clean my house.  Before, when I was in so much pain, I couldn't even vacuum the house without incurring pain.

I think the lesson I've learned is that talking care of my body had to become a choice that I made.  My body has (in all honesty) forced me to make decisions that I wouldn't necessarily have made 6 months ago.  Sure, I worked out, but I wasn't seeing the very real and immediate results.  Now - it's something I feel.  Literally.

Having said that, I know it's going to be a while before I'm 100%, and I've accepted that.  Well, mostly.  I still long for the days that I don't have to worry about being in pain, or making sure I have ibuprofen with me, just in case.  But, that isn't who I am right now.

Another thing that I've learned from this, and am trying to come to terms with, is that cancer and it's affects don't end with the end of chemo.  I will be dealing with the effects of my cancer for the rest of my life.  For example, I don't know that I would have had to have this surgery if I hadn't had the colon resection.  The doctor said he could directly trace the scarring on my uterus to the colon resection.  So, the assumption I can make is that, without the resection, I wouldn't have had to have the hysterectomy.  Hmmmm.....

That doesn't even take into account the after-effects of the chemo (more studies came out recently, proving that the Oxaliplantin causes lifelong side effects that may actually get worse after you end chemo - GREAT...).    Nor does it take into effect the emotional toll something like this takes on you.  Or, on your kids.

I wasn't going to post it, but I try to be honest here, so here goes.  Julia's been having some GI issues lately.  She's always had issues with constipation, etc.  But, we've been able to control it up til now - lately, she's been complaining of stomach cramps, lots of pain, etc.  After trying several different things (Dulcolax, Miralax), I started doing research on whether kids with Asperger's have GI issues.  Boy - was I surprised.  Apparently, children with forms of autism (and ADD/ADHD) tend to have issues with their GI.  To the tune of 50% of them.  Yikes - so, in doing more research and talking with another mother who's Aspie is in college - yeah, we are dealing with a lifelong issue here.

That, alone, wouldn't be a huge issue, in the scheme of things.  But, in talking with one of Julia's teachers yesterday, Julia has expressed concern that she's got colon cancer.  *sigh*  At no point in their lives should a 9 year old child have to worry about having cancer.  Needless to say, we had a discussion about the differences in my situation and her situation.  We talked about what she needs to look for to prevent colon cancer, and how what she has isn't the same as what I had to go through.

But, it made me wonder - is there some connection?  I know it's stretching, but one of my brothers had major GI issues.  I had colon cancer, and now my daughter is facing a lifelong battle with GI issues (and she's been battling this since before she turned a year old).  Makes you wonder, eh?

Anyway, that's enough babbling from me.  It's time to buckle down and get things done - I have to make sure I have time to workout today. :)  

JANUARY 12, 2012

So Much Pain

Last night, I had the most pain I've had in a really long time.  My surgery was supposed to alleviate my back pain, which it did for a while.  The last couple of nights, though, have been almost unbearable.  I'm good during the day, and the pain is manageable.  But, when I lay down to go to sleep?  Well, last night I actually had to get back up out of bed....if I had had something safe to punch, I would have.  My back hurt SO BADLY!

The pain is usually located in my lower back, which is where the pain was prior to surgery.  Now, though, it seems to have spread to both sides, rather than being isolated to the right side. Levi seems to feel it might be kidneys, but I'm pretty sure those are higher up - the pain I'm having is really low (like, at the top of my butt).

Ibuprofen seems to give me temporary relief, but nothing has taken the pain away completely.  My heating pad has been my constant companion, and serves another purpose - since I'm always cold, it helps me stay warm.  Score!

So, at this point, I'm trying a variety of things, with the hopes that I'll touch on something that will miraculously make my back feel better.  I've got my ibuprofen, which I'm going to start taking regularly again.  Maybe if I can get ahead of the pain, I can control it better.  I have a pain patch (non-medicinal) that I've got on today.  My corn-filled heating pad is in the microwave, and will be sitting against my back all day.  I have some Pain-A-Trate (like Ben-Gay, but better...) that will be going on later.  The big thing?  I'm going to be getting back to being more active.  I'm hoping that by getting up and not sitting all day long, hunched over my laptop, my body will start to get acclimated to the activity.

My questions are many - why is this happening?  What's causing it?  Why so suddenly?  Why is it so painful? I did a little Dr. Google research last night - appears that I'm not the only person going through this after having a Da Vinci hysterectomy.  Appears that there are several ladies that have had/are having similar severe back pain issues.  Most of them that have found a dr that listens to them and doesn't think they're nuts report a return of adhesions/scar tissue.  *sigh*  I'll be so pissed if that's the case.

I have a friend who's a naturopathic oncologist, and she has some ideas on things that might help.  Right now, I don't want to go to the dr, b/c I feel like they are going to push meds on me or doubt my story.  This pain is real - the tears in my eyes and the stress on my body is overwhelming at times.  When the ibuprofen finally kicks in, I can literally feel the release in my body - it relaxes, and I'm suddenly exhausted.

Any ideas on others who have gone through the same thing?  My gynecologist told me that I should be back to normal  by now, and I think he doesn't quite understands that these surgeries don't always go by the book - oftentimes, as I'm seeing, there are so many other factors that will change how a person's body reacts to surgery.

Off I go, to try to keep active.  Will keep you all updated.

Carol Pack Urban said...

This doesn't sound good, Michelle. I can't remember. Did the surgeon remove the ovaries, too? I hope you find relief soon!

January 27, 2012 at 3:53 PM

JANUARY 3, 2012

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, my friends!  2011 was quite a year - while I'm glad for all that I went through, I'm also glad it's behind us, and hopeful that 2012 will be even better.

Our Christmas season was busy, as usual, but wonderful.  We surprised the kids with a quick trip to Disneyland (thanks to the generosity of some friends) and Hollywood, where we caught up with a friend.  It was a whirlwind trip, but definitely fun. 

Christmas morning, before presents.   

 Kevin, with his new R/C car.....big fun!

Jules with her new puppy, Snowball, aka Cookie.

Post-Disney surprise - we had a treasure hunt that led them to the final "treasure" - Mickey ears!

At Disney - loving life.  Was a little chilly, but we managed.

On The Jungle Cruise - first ride at Disneyland!

I will try to fix this and turn it, but I wanted to show y'all...at Splash Mountain!

Meeting up with Woody and Jessie!

At the Fire Department in Toon Town USA! 

Again, sorry this is sideways - I promised the kids ice cream, and Kevin got a Mickey Mouse sandwich, while...

...Jules got a Mickey Mouse ice cream bar!

 

Posing in Hollywood!

We also headed to Newport Beach in California the night we arrived - Levi refused to take his boots off and join us, so this is the kids and I enjoying the ocean for the first time.

The kids, with Balboa Pier at Newport Beach behind them.  This is after Julia's *first* tumble into the ocean, and before Kevin's pants were completely soaked.  

I love both of these pictures....

Overall, this was a pretty cool way to celebrate the holidays this season, as well as Levi's and my 10th wedding anniversary!

DECEMBER 13, 2011

5 weeks today

Today marks 5 weeks since my hysterectomy.  I'm sorry I haven't blogged - when I do feel good, I'm up and about (overdoing it, yes) and taking care of the mommy things I'm responsible for.  When I'm down and out - I am very definitively down and out.  Exhaustion, pain, and emotional instability seem to be markers of my tendency to think that mind over matter will work in this situation.  It won't.  Stupid body.

Since I last posted, I've tried really hard to become an expert at the art of relaxing.  I'm still in the "beginning" stages of that process, but I'm working on it.  For example, yesterday, the only things I did was take the kids to school, watch tv, play on the computer, work on Christmas cookie tags (while sitting down), get the kids from daycare, and make dinner.  Not a lot for my crazy-on-the-go normal life, but I think it may have been too much. Today will be about the same.  Matter of fact, it's 10am and I still haven't showered.  So far, I've gotten out of bed, got the kids ready for school and drove them there. :)  See - working on relaxing.  Oh - I'm doing laundry, too.

Overall, I think the recovery is going pretty much the way the drs had planned.  I think I went into the surgery expecting that in a month or so, I'd be back to normal.  Now, looking into other post-op hysterectomy ladies' stories, the expectation is that it can take 6-12 months before I feel whole again.  *sigh*  That isn't welcome information.  And, it could truly take longer than that, if I don't take it easy.  And, I usually don't.

The next couple of weeks are going to be cuh-razy.  Levi's still working out of town, and they have more work than they know what to do with.  This is normally a good thing, except that there aren't enough ppl to do the work in the many sites.  My MIL, Donna, comes into town Thursday night.  Levi comes home on Thursday night as well, to do some last minute work here in town (and possibly working on Saturday, which sucks).  I haven't gotten C'mas shopping done yet, and can't until Thursday or Friday (payday...LOL!).  Levi's back out to CA on Monday, Donna's in town until Thursday, and Levi's back on Friday.  The kids have a concert tomorrow night, and today's to-do list includes finding white shirts for both kids for the concert.  I also have to try to find a winter jacket for Kevin, since he's now lost two of them in a week.  I'm just going to duct tape them to him.  :)

I'm trying to remember to take it easy, but it's going to be a challenge over the next couple of weeks.  It's a good thing that I'm off of work until the end of the year - it's going to be tough to tackle what we have coming over the next two weeks - I can't imagine trying to juggle work, too.  Yikes!

Speaking of work, I'll be heading back after the first of the year.  I'm so grateful that I work for a company (and a boss) that is so willing to help me through everything.  I know I'll regret saying this later, but I'm looking forward to getting back to work.  It's going to be hard, but I can't wait to see/talk with everyone again.  Just don't tell them that, yet.  :)

As far as physical recovery, as I said, it's definitely slower than I want.  My tummy is still tender (not necessarily sore, but definitely tender).  I can't wear my pre-op jeans, so I had to go to a local resale store to get bigger sized jeans.  And, it still hurts to wear them.  I can, but not for too long.  So, I'm still wearing the same three pairs of yoga pants, which I'm quickly getting tired of (and wearing out).  My lower back bothers me when I overdo it, like I'm pretty sure I did yesterday; realized just now that a package was delivered and I picked it up to bring it into the house - which explains the back pain last night and today.  D'oh!  I'm still on a pretty regular regiment of Advil, which helps keep the inflammation down and the pain under control.  I'm very grateful for Advil.

I've noticed that since my surgery, I'm a lot more apt to cry or get emotional.  Not sure if that's something that will continue or will phase out as my body starts to regulate itself.  Might also have something to do with the fact that it's Christmas time (my favorite time of the year, hands down) and I am a sap for the commercials with sleeping babies, holiday songs, and emotional reunions on commercials.  It's going to be interesting to see  how this all plays out, that's for sure.

I think that's about it.  I should probably get up and take a shower now.  I'll try to be more diligent about posting.

NOVEMBER 11, 2011

Surgery Done!

5th abdominal surgery in 10 years is done!  I am now a uterus-free woman.  :)  Forgive me if this is TMI or rambling - I'm still under the influence of prescription pain meds.

Prep sucked, which is what I expected.  I've now done 4 different types of bowel prep, and I don't think any of them are fun.  The pills are definitely, in my opinion, the least suck-y prep.  The Half-Lytely is definitely in the running for the worst tasting.  I don't like knowing these things.  Just saying.

So, Tuesday morning, after dropping the kids at school, I headed into Phoenix to pick Levi up from the airport.  We went home, dropped his stuff off at the house, and drove into the hospital with Mom in tow.  I sat in the waiting room for about 10 minutes, then I was called into pre-op.  As usual, when the nurses found out I was diagnosed with colon cancer at 31 years old, they started asking the questions that I usually hear.  What were your symptoms?  Do you have a family history?  How did you know?  How were you treated?  I answered them (several times, as I was there during shift change) and hopefully taught them something.

We got the IV put in after the second attempt (both were in my forearm - ouch - and the first hit a valve, leaving a nice bruise), and Levi, Mom and I sat in the pre-op room until about 3:30, when I was wheeled back into surgery.  The OR was pretty large (and cold), and I was only awake long enough to see the HUGE television that's used during the Da Vinci procedure, as well as the robot they use.  Pretty cool, all in all.

I remember joking with the nurses about what movie they were going to watch on the television, and then waking up in recovery.  I remember being sore and tired.  My throat hurt from the breathing tube, and my belly hurt.  The good news was that they were able to do the entire procedure via the Da Vinci, meaning I only have 4 small incisions (about 1 inch each), rather than a larger single incision.  That should cut down on my recovery time.

Tuesday night was a mess of pain meds and sleeping.  I didn't sleep much that night, since we were trying to control the pain.  Thank goodness for IV pain meds, since the oral meds didn't touch the pain!  Wednesday was spent trying to get up, walking around, moving the air in my belly around, and trying to expel that air.  :)  That didn't happen until last night, by the way.  *sigh*  Ouch is all I can say.

Wednesday wasn't too bad, but we didn't see the doctor until  about 8:30pm.  I stayed that night as well, as we finally got the pain under control with Motrin and Vicodin.  I was released yesterday at around 11am, and spent the day in the recliner in the living room.  Levi got my pain meds and helped me a ton, and I got to see the kids and have dinner with the family.

Last night wasn't too bad.  Like I said, my biggest issue was the gas in my belly.  The  pockets of air in there were from the air they inserted to allow them to see what was going on, so it took some time to get that reabsorbed and released.  That's finally happening, and I can't tell you how happy I am about that.

So, what was causing the pain?  My doctor said that when I had the colon resection, my uterus (which tipped forward naturally) sat against the scar of the resection and thus sealed itself to the inside of my abdomen.  He said he had never seen anything like it - it was completely sealed to my insides.  This is part of what was causing me such pain when I stood up - my uterus was pulling against my entire abdomen.  In addition to that, my right ovary (which they removed) was completely encased in scar tissue.  Removal was the only solution to that.  In addition to that, my left ovary had some scar tissue on it, and had started to fuse itself to my bladder.  Luckily, we caught that in time, and the dr was able to detach the ovary from the bladder without causing damage to either one.  He can't guarantee that I won't have issues in the future, but he did what he could.

At this point, I'm very much looking forward to getting my shower and taking a nap.  I'm feeling ok - the pain in under control, so that's helpful.  Right now, I'm dealing with the disconnect between my head (which tells me I should be able to do more than I can) and my body (which is telling me to take it easy).  I'm doing my best to not overdo it, and I can definitely see that this is going to be my biggest challenge over the next couple of weeks.  I don't like depending on others, so I don't make a very good patient.  But, I'm definitely trying.

Off I go to take my first shower in 4 days (gross) and probably take a nap.  Levi and I may take a short drive later today, for a change of view for me.  The kids are off at the sitters, celebrating Veteran's Day and honoring all of those who have sacrificed for our freedoms.

I'll update more as I can.  Meantime, I'm off to get clean.  Finally.  :)

Whidbey Woman said...

Thanks so much, Michelle, for posting an update. I was wondering how you were going. Isn't technology amazing? I bet years ago, your recovery time would have been much, much longer. Hang in there, girlfriend!

November 12, 2011 at 8:29 AM