NOVEMBER 5, 2012

No words....

I have had a week to remember.  Earlier this week, I took my trip to Chicago to speak at the Board Meeting of Cancer Treatment Centers of America.  I'll post about that in a bit.  Suffice it to say, it was an amazing trip that will have an impact on who I am, and how I work against this disease.  We left on Wednesday, came home Thursday night, and were exhausted.  Friday, I ended up getting tickets to the Eric Church concert, so I called Lisa and she met me in Glendale.  That man can rock a serious concert - you want a good fusion of country and rock?  Check him out.

Saturday was the day I've been waiting on for years.  I finally got to meet Rodney Atkins.  It was a heck of a road to get there, and now that it's over, I still can't believe it happened.  And, I'm really surprised at the emotions that this triggered.

Saturday night, from start to finish, was amazing.  I was able to drag Lisa, Alyssa, Danielle, and Karena with me, and Gina met us out.   The concert was General Admission, so I wanted to get there early.  We did (too early, which won't surprise people that know me), and we ended up hanging out on the patio of the bar.  If you ever have the chance to venture up to the Cave Creek area, and especially to Harold's Corral, I'd highly recommend it!

Hanging on the patio!

L-R, Lisa, Karena, me, Danielle, Alyssa

Karena and I

While we were waiting, we started chatting with some other folks, and made new friends!  I know this is shocking, that I would talk with strangers and make friends.  I'm such an introvert.  *snort*

Spenser was a super nice guy who introduced us to his friends (many of them servicemen), and it was a pleasure to get to know them all.  Such gentlemen....they took care of us and made sure that we were safe all night.  Hugs, guys!  Thanks for all that you do!  

After a few drinks, it was time to get the party started....Meet and Greet Time.  Gina made it there just in time, so the six of us headed into the concert area and, after some frantic moments, made it to the line.  As they queued us up, we saw Rodney, waiting for it all to start.  And, almost passed out.   

I knew that I would likely tear up when I met him.  I knew it was going to be difficult to see him and not cry as I thanked him. I figured it would be a few tears on my part, maybe a quick hug as he shooed this crazy fan away, and that would be it.  

It was so much more than I could have ever imagined.  

As I stood there, I looked at where I was.  It hit me - I beat cancer.  Twice.  Part of the reason is the strength Rodney has given me through his music.  Not just *my song*....I listen to his music, and it gives me an escape from everything I'm going through.  I looked at my girls, and broke down.  I just broke down.  Once I recovered, I thought - hey!  Now, I can meet him and not blubber.

Ha.  I am so funny.

We worked our way through the line, and it was time.  My amazing friends stood back as I approached Rodney.  I walked up, reached to shake his hand, and introduced myself.  He looked at me, smiled, and grabbed me in a huge bear hug.  

He just held me, and I started sobbing.  I couldn't help it.  Even sitting here, typing this, I'm tearing up.  It was so damn emotional.  To have him know who I am...the look of understanding and recognition and caring was something I will never, ever forget.  

I don't know how long we stood there.  He would pull back, look at me, and hug me again.  It was....wow.  

.

This is me, trying to wipe my eyes and compose myself as he signed the picture they handed out.  

I don't know if I can tell you what I said to Rodney, or everything that he said to me.  I did bring him a Mission: Remission tee shirt, and he took it with a smile.  I know that we took WAY longer than intended, and I hope I didn't make anyone behind me angry.  But, I fought like hell to get here; I wasn't going to waste this moment.  

Happy, happy girl...

This is my favorite photo from Saturday night.  This man has my heart....I just adore him.  He is just a gentleman, and I couldn't be more proud to know him.  To me, he represents everything that I love about country music.  

The next few photos were official ones taken by the radio station that hosted the concert, 102.5 KNIX Country.  

He was so huggable!  :)

Karena and Rodney.  He said she smelled good.  She's not allowed to come with me anymore.  LOL!  

Gina, Rodney and me.  We met Daughtry together; it only seemed right that we meet Rodney together, too.  

Rodney and some of Team Mission: Remission....this picture makes my heart SO DAMN HAPPY!  

Once we finally left the meet-and-greet area, we headed to the concert area to find the best "seat".  The tickets I had were general admission standing, so we needed to worm our way into a good spot.  We did, and waited for the concert to start.

He came on stage, and the rest is kind of a blur.  I don't remember exactly how it all played out, but Gina and I crossed the fence into VIP territory to get closer.  After Gina, Lisa and Karena had some conversations with security and with the ticket holders (and despite my initial protests), I ended up front row, center stage.  Are you KIDDING me?  

Harley, our friend in security that hooked me up...S'up, dude?  

Once I got up front, Rodney saw me, and sang to me.  Well, he was singing, and he looked at me.  But, when he sang certain lyrics and looked at me, like "...giving this life everything we've got and then some..." - yeah.  He was totally singing to me.  

More pictures from KNIX of the show...

Do you see that look?  Yeah....melts my heart!

  

All I'm going to say is, thank goodness for cowboys in tight jeans...

When I was talking to Rodney, I asked him if he was going to sing my song.  He gave me a look, and then smiled. 

*grin*

Last song.  Someone in the band played the first few notes, and that was it.  I knew.  MY SONG!  I jumped up and down and screamed and yelled and....then, he came down into the pit and handed me the microphone.  

I got to sing my song with Rodney.  Oh.  My.  God.  

"If You're Going Through Hell" - I made it.  I made it through.  

In shock!

And, just like that, it was over.  I'm still in awe.  I look at these pictures, and my heart skips a beat.  I just can't believe that, after four and a half years of dreaming about maybe, maybe someday being able to thank him, it's over.  

Or, is it?  

Sunday morning, as I looked through the pictures and the comments and the emails, I was a mess.  I was tearing up at the drop of a hat.  I found out that Hope (dear Hope, whom I've never met and yet, I think is amazing!) and Rodney were texting about me on Saturday night.  (I'm just hoping it wasn't along the lines of....yes, I met that crazy fan...)  Also found out that he's going to be in Vegas in December....

So, if you remember back when I was originally diagnosed, I declared that my remission party would be in Vegas?  Yeah.....it's time.  

Why was I crying on Sunday?  I think that Saturday was, for me, the culmination of the past four-plus years.  

I know it's silly and ridiculous and crazy, but, in my mind, meeting Rodney and getting to thank him in person was a goal I set.  I don't think it was a conscious thing, but it's something I have looked forward to for years.  I just wanted to have a few moments of his time to say, thanks.  I had to keep fighting because I needed to say thanks.  Over the past 6 months, I've gotten so much more than that, and I never expected to have all of this *pointing to pics above* happen.  Saturday night, I lived.  Over the past week, I've lived the HELL out of my life.  And, I'm just getting started.

Maybe that's it.  I feel like I have been given another lease on life.  I feel like this is the start of the rest of my life.  I feel an almost physical push to get out there, to do the things that I want to do.  I feel an obligation to me, to my doctors, my family....I fought the physical battle to live life.  Now, I need to fight some emotional ones (more on that later), and to get to living.  

***************************************************

Rodney - thank you for making this girl's dreams come true.  I'll see you in Vegas...

Hope - thank you for helping make this night a reality.  I can't wait until Vegas, to finally hug you and thank you in person.  You inspire me.  Daily.

Lisa, Alyssa, Danielle, Karena, and Gina - thank you for being part of my life.  Saturday night will be one I remember forever, even when I'm 97 years old and don't remember my name.  I will remember that night.  I'm so grateful to have you all in my life.  

To the rest of you, thanks for joining me on this crazy journey.  

Comments:

Kristi H said...

OK.. so you made me cry tears of joy!!! I am so happy for you!!! My granny always said, "Good things come to those who wait..."
Soooo glad you had such an awesome time!!! You deserve it girlfriend.

November 5, 2012 at 5:52 PM

 Amanda: said...

Ah-ma-zing. Thank you for sharing that, you cancer beating rockstar, you :)

Geeked you had a great time.

November 5, 2012 at 5:59 PM