Well, I
had a doctor's appointment last Friday, basically a quick look-see with the
team to make sure I was recovering well from the hospital stay. The good
news was that my blood work is still coming back within Michelle-normal range
(think of it as a normal for cancer...), and that my body still seems to be
recovering from whatever we toss at it. The not-so-good news is that I'm
continuing to lose weight.
This is where those "unlikely conversations" come in.
Never, in my life, did I ever expect I would have a conversation about losing too much weight, or high-calorie snacks and meals, or taking a prescription medication to help increase my appetite.
But, Friday - those all happened. I am down about 20-25 pounds in the past 2-ish months, and ten in the past week. That's just too much, too quickly. They immediately asked whether I was eating, and I am, just not as much as I normally do. I spoke with my PA, and then my naturopath, about taking something to stimulate my appetite. We've tried a few other things, but we fell back on the old stand-by, Marinol (synthetic marijuana in pill form). I'm taking a low dose, three times a day, and honestly, I can say it's working. I'm not nauseated when I wake up in the morning (yeah for that), and I've noticed that I'm actually hungry for the first time in ages.
I also had a conversation with my dietitian about eating the right kinds of foods, including higher calorie snacks and small meals. She sent me a list of snacks (nuts and fruit, etc.), as well as a protein shake I need to be drinking at least once a day...I mix this one with my coffee in the morning for a fortified, high calorie iced coffee. Yum!
Hopefully, with everything I'm working on, I'll at the very least staunch the weight loss and even out. I'm down to the lowest I've been in probably 8 years, and my clothes are all big on me. If I lose much more weight, I'll have to go shopping. :)
I did set the consult appointment with T-Gen.....we'll meet with them next week, on Wednesday. It's a 90 minute appointment, complete with physical exam, discussions with the oncologist, and a list of what options are available to me right now. I have a folder of questions that I want to ask him (Cody, if you see this, I made one for you, too), so I'm sure it's going to be a very informative appointment.
Other than that, I'm still trying to get stronger and build my strength up. The kids started school on Monday, but little man was sick with a fever, and came home early on Monday. He's still not doing too well, but we are hoping he's okay to return to class sometime this week.
I started with both OT and PT this week - Monday was an early morning with the kids, plus both OT and PT, so by the end of the day, I was *wiped*. Ithink know that this is going to help me, but it's
going to take a while. I got really frustrated at PT on Monday. I
was doing something fairly benign and something that, two years ago, wouldn't
have been a struggle for me to finish. Yesterday? I was sweating
and huffing and groaning....it wasn't anything super difficult, just a little
back/ab movement, but it was enough. I started thinking back to when I
was working out with a trainer, doing things I didn't think I could do week in
and week out, and it hit me.....this fucking sucks. I get so angry when I
think about all the things that I should be able to do, and can't. But,
I'm trying to use that anger and turning it into energy, into purpose, into the
push I need to do the exercises at home.
Each day is a little easier, and a little harder. Each day, I do something that I couldn't do the day before, and each day, I'm a little more tired/sore because of it. It takes a while to get going in the morning. But, I get moving, and I'm doing what needs to be done. Usually. :)
This is where those "unlikely conversations" come in.
Never, in my life, did I ever expect I would have a conversation about losing too much weight, or high-calorie snacks and meals, or taking a prescription medication to help increase my appetite.
But, Friday - those all happened. I am down about 20-25 pounds in the past 2-ish months, and ten in the past week. That's just too much, too quickly. They immediately asked whether I was eating, and I am, just not as much as I normally do. I spoke with my PA, and then my naturopath, about taking something to stimulate my appetite. We've tried a few other things, but we fell back on the old stand-by, Marinol (synthetic marijuana in pill form). I'm taking a low dose, three times a day, and honestly, I can say it's working. I'm not nauseated when I wake up in the morning (yeah for that), and I've noticed that I'm actually hungry for the first time in ages.
I also had a conversation with my dietitian about eating the right kinds of foods, including higher calorie snacks and small meals. She sent me a list of snacks (nuts and fruit, etc.), as well as a protein shake I need to be drinking at least once a day...I mix this one with my coffee in the morning for a fortified, high calorie iced coffee. Yum!
Hopefully, with everything I'm working on, I'll at the very least staunch the weight loss and even out. I'm down to the lowest I've been in probably 8 years, and my clothes are all big on me. If I lose much more weight, I'll have to go shopping. :)
I did set the consult appointment with T-Gen.....we'll meet with them next week, on Wednesday. It's a 90 minute appointment, complete with physical exam, discussions with the oncologist, and a list of what options are available to me right now. I have a folder of questions that I want to ask him (Cody, if you see this, I made one for you, too), so I'm sure it's going to be a very informative appointment.
Other than that, I'm still trying to get stronger and build my strength up. The kids started school on Monday, but little man was sick with a fever, and came home early on Monday. He's still not doing too well, but we are hoping he's okay to return to class sometime this week.
I started with both OT and PT this week - Monday was an early morning with the kids, plus both OT and PT, so by the end of the day, I was *wiped*. I
Each day is a little easier, and a little harder. Each day, I do something that I couldn't do the day before, and each day, I'm a little more tired/sore because of it. It takes a while to get going in the morning. But, I get moving, and I'm doing what needs to be done. Usually. :)
Comments:
Carol
Pack Urban said...
I
remember that feeling of being so sick that there was no possible way I wanted
to eat or drink anything really. Even an empty stomach made me nauseated.
I remember losing all that weight. The first time I saw myself after being in the hospital I screamed. I didn't recognize myself.
GF, do what you have to do to get better. We love you.
I remember losing all that weight. The first time I saw myself after being in the hospital I screamed. I didn't recognize myself.
GF, do what you have to do to get better. We love you.
August
14, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Hi
Michelle, I was diagnosed with rectal cancer in May. Found your link on Leslie's
page. (the bottom line). I have surgery coming up and I've been enjoying food
as much as I can knowing all that will change soon. sending hugs and wellness
wishes...
August
18, 2013 at 8:28 PM
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