Well,
there is so much to talk about, but not much time to do it. Basically, we are
all doing well. We all made it back to AZ, and happily away from the snow! :-)
The services were wonderful, and seeing the family is always a positive side to
the loss of a family member. I was so sad to leave my brothers this time, but I
know that I will see Jimmy next month, and Bob and Greg in just a few more
months.
We are settling back into what a new normal is, and I think this is something
that all cancer patients have to deal with. You are going along in life, and
then boom! Cancer strikes. You have to adjust your life to this new
"cancer normal" until you are deemed to be in remission. For me,
during my treatment, my goal was to get back to "normal". What I
didn't realize is that I will never ever go back to the normal that I had in
early May of last year. I can get back to the same activities, I can continue
doing what I was doing then, but things aren't the same, and won't ever be.
And, that's okay. This is my new normal, and I am proud of it. I am back to
work full-time and started back at school last week (on-line classes, working
towards making that Associate's Degree into a Bachelor's Degree!). But, in
addition to that, I am working with the Colon Cancer Alliance to establish a
local chapter. I am trying to make sure that I take care of myself, and allow
the emotions and feelings to process when they hit. I am trying to remember
that I am still only 2 months out of chemo, and the tiredness and side effects
aren't going to go away just because I want them to. It's going to take time,
and that's okay. I have time. Thank goodness.
The biggest side effect, as you well know, that I am dealing with is the
neuropathy. That comes and goes, and right now is pretty bad. I guess a good
way to describe it today would be that it feels like my fingers are all
swollen, so I don't have full feeling into where they are, what they are doing,
etc. It's been worse in my feet, too, and that's always fun when it's raining
here in Phoenix. Trying to navigate oily sidewalks with feet that don't quite
work isn't easy. But, I take a few extra moments to walk a bit slower, and it
all works out.
Another side effect that I am noticing, especially lately, has been chemo
brain. This became a real issue at the end of chemo, and hasn't let up much.
There are times when I am having a conversation with someone and completely
lose my train of thought. I am also finding that it's harder to allow
information to seep into my brain, and it takes me longer to learn something.
This has provided me with a good challenge, and a learning curve, especially
because I am handling some pretty large issues at work and with going back to
school. It makes life interesting, that's for sure. I don't think there is
anything I can do about this except to find a new way to learn things, and to
try to remember that I don't do things the same way I did 9 months ago.
There are some other minor things that have been occurring, but when things
happen that are out of the ordinary, I try to remember that my body is still
dealing with the chemo (it's still in there, killing off the little cancer
bastards) and trying to heal from that stuff. I am trying to give myself
permission to take care of me, and that's not easy. But, I am making a very
concerted effort to do this. Aren't you proud of me?
Other than that, things are going well. Levi's work is moving forward, and
while he is struggling with that, he is optimistic about his potential and the
possibilities. The kid are both doing well - Julia had her first sleepover at
Nana and Papa's house, and loved it. What a treat for her - and, for us.
I hope that all is well with you all. I will try to keep things updated more
often. I need about a full-day more a week - can anyone tell me how to get
that? LOL!
Comments:
Great
to hear that you made it back home alright. I checked the blog every day hoping
for news.
I managed to come down with a head cold on Monday. Sore throat, fever, etc. We
just had this at the end of December. I can't figure it out. I wasn't sick at
all during Chemo. I guess my resistance is still low. I wonder how long it
takes for the immunities to build back up?
Are you still on for your "deportment" on Friday? Good luck!
February
11, 2009 at 9:35 AM
