Thursday, April 19, 2012

APRIL 19, 2012


Well, this round sucked.  Let me rephrase that.  I was good until about 7pm on Tuesday night.  I started to feel pretty nauseous and icky that night, and it pretty much kept up on Wednesday.  I was able to stave off the ickiness by supplementing my Zofran with Compazine and Ativan, so that was good, but the drugs make me woozy and tired, which I don't care for.

Pump was supposed to come off yesterday at 2pm, but there was an issue with scheduling and we didn't even get back to the infusion room until 3pm, and then I still had another hour of chemo left before they could start my IV fluids.  *sigh*  The nurse was able to get the doctor to prescribe IV fluids that were compatible with my remaining chemo, and she gave me an IV medicine for my nausea.

Let's just say that whatever they gave me should be reserved for people who are going to the deepest depths of hell.  I didn't react well, at all.  Rather than making me feel better, it caused me to feel worse.  My only saving grace is that I didn't get sick.  How, I don't know.  I should have - I probably would have felt better.  But, whatever they gave me did not help, at all.  I won't go into details, except to say that I'm still not recovered from whatever they gave me.  This morning, when I woke up and tried to get the kids ready for school, I was so tired I almost felt drunk.  The oddest feeling.  I don't care for it.

I'm starting to feel better, but I'm still tired.  I went back to sleep today after my dad picked up the kids to take them to school, and I slept until noon.  It's now just before 2pm, and I'm ready for another nap.  Thinking that's my next stop - who needs to shower?  :)

I'm glad that this round is over.  I'm hopeful that when we meet with the oncologist next time round, he's able to provide me with a better understanding of what they gave me, why I reacted the way I did, and how we make sure that doesn't happen again.  Mentally, this round was difficult.  Right now, I'm struggling with the thoughts of "Why me".  Those aren't easy to deal with, especially because I know there isn't a reason for this. It just is.

On a positive note, my amazing friend Karena contacted Rodney Atkins (who sings my favorite song, "
If You're Going Through Hell") and asked him to send me a video of encouragement.  I had no idea, and the video came in yesterday afternoon, as I was going through hell.  Timing is everything, isn't it?

I can't figure out how to link the video he sent to me, but you can find it on my facebook page.  If that link doesn't work, look up my group "Mission Remission" on facebook - his video is there.

It's amazing.  I just can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that Karena took the time to pursue this, and that he took the time to do a short video, wishing me well.  He probably has thousands of requests like this on a weekly basis, and he took 18 seconds to wish me well.

So.  Cool.

On that note, I'm headed back to bed.  This stupid drug they gave me knocked me for a loop.  I'm hoping another nap will help.  :)

More later.

Comments:

Tina said...
Sorry you are having such a rough time. When I was on FOLFOX my brain was so foggy, and body so tired, there were days I could hardly get out of bed. After awhile I quit fighting it and just stayed in bed! I had my laptop, tv, music, window to look out--everything I needed for the few moments I could wake up. Of course, I didn't have young children to take of either--I would not have been able to! Sorry about the nausea, that is the worst! I'm guessing you are getting steroids and Emend along with the other 3 drugs you mentioned? I know it took all 5 drugs to get me through!
Hang in there--hopefully you'll be coming out of the valley the next few days and each day will get better!
April 19, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Blogger I'm Nic. said...

Thinking of you lots. Like I've posted before, keep writing, we are listening. Your strength is admirable.
April 19, 2012 at 4:49 PM

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