This
morning, I got a phone call from my former oncologist's office.
Apparently, they got the request from CTCA for my records, and their
policy is to ask the patient whether this is for a second opinion or if they
(the patient) is transferring to another facility.
I felt bad for the poor girl that had to ask me that question. :)
I was honest with her, and told her the truth. I said that I had an issue with a nurse, and that it is my full intention to never step foot back in their office again.
Did you know that when you say something like that to a doctor's office, you ignite a firestorm? *grin*
I won't go into specifics and bore you. Suffice it to say that, within 5 minutes of hanging up with the medical records clerk, I received a phone call from Dr. Rakkar. He was pretty upset about what happened, and after much talking on my part, he asked me to reconsider. He gave me his cell phone number (I'm to call/text him directly), and assured me that I would never have to deal with that person again. As my friend called her, Icky Nurse. We'll use that moving forward.
About two hours later, I received another call from the doctor's office. It was the head nurse and the office manager, asking me to again go over what's happened and why I'm leaving. I went through the story, and there was some feedback, but not much. Long story short, there was more promises that I wouldn't have to ever deal with Icky Nurse again. I was asked to give them another chance, and assured that they will take care of me.
While I appreciate the effort, I honestly feel like it's too little, too late. As I told all of them, they have a person working in their office who has, single-handedly, broken my trust in their office. I can't imagine walking back in there and wondering what's going to happen. Waiting for the inevitable screw-up.
Both my doctor and the head nurse told me that they are aware that they have a problem with Icky Nurse, and that they will be dealing with it. My thought? Why the hell is she still dealing with the patients? Why is SHE the person that the sick and emotionally fragile chemo patients are routed to? How is a patient supposed remain positive, upbeat, and hopeful when they have to argue, fight, work for basic needs?
I told the nurse/office manager that, while I do appreciate what they are trying to take care of me, I'm almost more concerned about the other patients. I have the energy, the time, the strength, the willpower, the attitude, the stamina to ask questions, to be my own advocate, and to stand up and advocate for myself. While my energy is meant to make a difference for my own personal situation, I want to make sure that things change for the patients that don't have anyone advocating for them. I worry about the people who expend all of their energy getting to chemo, but literally can't argue with Icky Nurse to get the meds they need. I worry about the people that just blindly trust the doctors and don't know that they can question their doctors and nurses.
Bottom line: patients and their families/caregivers are fighting a hard enough battle. They shouldn't have to battle their oncology staff for *anything*. In my opinion, your medical team needs to be your partner in this battle. You need to be able to tell them everything - you need to tell them when you're sick, what your poop looks like, how your insides feel. They are privy to the most intimate details of your life, and if you are always worried about what's going to go wrong, you aren't going to be honest with them. This does not allow for a good, healthy, healing relationship. And, isn't that what we're all going to the oncologist for? Health. Healing.
I've promised Dr. Rakkar that I will let him know what I decide. I've told him that I will continue to pursue a second opinion from CTCA, and will make a decision with all conversations in mind.
Hope he's not holding his breath.....
:)
I felt bad for the poor girl that had to ask me that question. :)
I was honest with her, and told her the truth. I said that I had an issue with a nurse, and that it is my full intention to never step foot back in their office again.
Did you know that when you say something like that to a doctor's office, you ignite a firestorm? *grin*
I won't go into specifics and bore you. Suffice it to say that, within 5 minutes of hanging up with the medical records clerk, I received a phone call from Dr. Rakkar. He was pretty upset about what happened, and after much talking on my part, he asked me to reconsider. He gave me his cell phone number (I'm to call/text him directly), and assured me that I would never have to deal with that person again. As my friend called her, Icky Nurse. We'll use that moving forward.
About two hours later, I received another call from the doctor's office. It was the head nurse and the office manager, asking me to again go over what's happened and why I'm leaving. I went through the story, and there was some feedback, but not much. Long story short, there was more promises that I wouldn't have to ever deal with Icky Nurse again. I was asked to give them another chance, and assured that they will take care of me.
While I appreciate the effort, I honestly feel like it's too little, too late. As I told all of them, they have a person working in their office who has, single-handedly, broken my trust in their office. I can't imagine walking back in there and wondering what's going to happen. Waiting for the inevitable screw-up.
Both my doctor and the head nurse told me that they are aware that they have a problem with Icky Nurse, and that they will be dealing with it. My thought? Why the hell is she still dealing with the patients? Why is SHE the person that the sick and emotionally fragile chemo patients are routed to? How is a patient supposed remain positive, upbeat, and hopeful when they have to argue, fight, work for basic needs?
I told the nurse/office manager that, while I do appreciate what they are trying to take care of me, I'm almost more concerned about the other patients. I have the energy, the time, the strength, the willpower, the attitude, the stamina to ask questions, to be my own advocate, and to stand up and advocate for myself. While my energy is meant to make a difference for my own personal situation, I want to make sure that things change for the patients that don't have anyone advocating for them. I worry about the people who expend all of their energy getting to chemo, but literally can't argue with Icky Nurse to get the meds they need. I worry about the people that just blindly trust the doctors and don't know that they can question their doctors and nurses.
Bottom line: patients and their families/caregivers are fighting a hard enough battle. They shouldn't have to battle their oncology staff for *anything*. In my opinion, your medical team needs to be your partner in this battle. You need to be able to tell them everything - you need to tell them when you're sick, what your poop looks like, how your insides feel. They are privy to the most intimate details of your life, and if you are always worried about what's going to go wrong, you aren't going to be honest with them. This does not allow for a good, healthy, healing relationship. And, isn't that what we're all going to the oncologist for? Health. Healing.
I've promised Dr. Rakkar that I will let him know what I decide. I've told him that I will continue to pursue a second opinion from CTCA, and will make a decision with all conversations in mind.
Hope he's not holding his breath.....
:)
Comments:
Melanie said...
Amen!
It sounds like someone should lose their job, or at least be reassigned. I hate
to say that bc i had a friend who was "icky nurse" but in the end you
are the most important, not her ego or personality conflicts. We're thankful
you are healthy and strong to be your own advocate.... just wish you didn't
have to be. :*-)
Love you, and always thinking and praying for ya!
Love you, and always thinking and praying for ya!
April
4, 2012 at 8:52 PM
In
this economy people are lucky to have jobs and be able to keep them. This
"Icky Nurse" doesn't have an attitude that warrants being around
people and should be fired immediately. There are plenty of good people out
there who have wonderful, caring attitudes who are just waiting for that job! I
would not feel a bit sad. She cost herself her job.
April
4, 2012 at 9:33 PM
Later:
Initial Intake Interview with
CTCA
My phone call
with CTCA yesterday was, in a word, amazing. I wasn't sure what to
expect. Whatever I was expecting, they exceeded it.
I hadn't realized it, but my experience over the past week or so with my other oncologist's office had left me very depressed. I didn't realize that I was consciously ready to give up chemo treatments all together, so as not to have to deal with them ever again. The thought of walking into their office again makes my stomach turn. I literally get nauseous when I think of it. I don't think that's healthy.
Catherine, the Patient Navigator I spoke with, was kind, gentle, and understanding. She understood the lingo, so I didn't need to explain the results of the PET scan (she had already looked at it), CEA levels, etc. She had the information in front of her, and was able to talk with me about what they had already gathered. We talked about my medical history, my family's medical history, how I was feeling prior to my re-diagnosis, how I felt during chemo last week, and how I'm feeling now.
The conversation went around and around, in a good way. The list of things we talked about are numerous and more than I could ever list here. Here's what I remember discussing:
I hadn't realized it, but my experience over the past week or so with my other oncologist's office had left me very depressed. I didn't realize that I was consciously ready to give up chemo treatments all together, so as not to have to deal with them ever again. The thought of walking into their office again makes my stomach turn. I literally get nauseous when I think of it. I don't think that's healthy.
Catherine, the Patient Navigator I spoke with, was kind, gentle, and understanding. She understood the lingo, so I didn't need to explain the results of the PET scan (she had already looked at it), CEA levels, etc. She had the information in front of her, and was able to talk with me about what they had already gathered. We talked about my medical history, my family's medical history, how I was feeling prior to my re-diagnosis, how I felt during chemo last week, and how I'm feeling now.
The conversation went around and around, in a good way. The list of things we talked about are numerous and more than I could ever list here. Here's what I remember discussing:
- my
relationship with my husband, my kids, family, friends, caregivers, etc.
- my
emotional status - this one came up several times in a variety of
questions
- how I
handle stress (what do I do to de-stress)
- how I
prefer to express pain (pictures of faces, scale of numbers, verbally,
colors, etc.)
- my physical
activity level, and whether I'm willing to continue with that (um, YES
PLEASE!!!)
- my
spirituality, and whether I'd like to talk with the chaplain
- my
willingness to look at alternative methods of treatment for side effects
- what I want
to see happen, and why I'm leaving my current oncologist
- what my
goals are with this journey
- whether my
long-term plans have changed as a result of this re-diagnosis
I can't tell you the sense of relief I felt when I was on the
phone with Catherine. When she hung up with me, I cried - happy tears.
I finally felt like I had someone on MY SIDE.
Don't get me wrong - I know I
have an entire army of people supporting me, fighting this battle alongside me,
and willing to step in at my first whimper to push me along. But, with
what I've been fighting at my former oncologist's office, I had honestly
forgotten what it felt like to be a person, not a patient. I had
forgotten what it feels like to have someone consider me as Michelle, not
cancer patient/recurrence number xxxx.
My first in-person appointment
with them is tomorrow. I'm anxious, but excited. I'm terrified, but
happy. It's a very confusing bungle of emotions, and I haven't been
sleeping well. Until I get in there and really know what it feels like to
be a patient of theirs, I don't think I'll settle down. I'm hoping I
sleep better tomorrow night.
All I know is that, for the
first time in well over a week, I have REAL HOPE. I think I'm worried
that my appointment tomorrow will dim that feeling. I'm hopeful that I'm
wrong.
Comments:
Thandi said...
I
am SO happy for you! So so happy. You need all the positivity you can get and
this is a major victory.
April
5, 2012 at 2:41 AM
CTCA
is a place I would head if I had another little cancer visit.... Sounds
wonderful. Stay positive.
April
5, 2012 at 3:12 AM
I
wish this website had a "like" button.... that is how I feel right
now! Good luck with the next visit... funny how you call a doctor's appt a
"visit".... I like that!
April
5, 2012 at 4:07 AM
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