Well, I did it. I'm now bald. And, so far, it ain't
too bad. :) I'll post more pictures when I have them, so for now,
this will have to do.
Yesterday was emotional, which is what I expected. I woke up
with a killer headache, which didn't bode well for the day. After getting
the house reasonably picked up for the event and getting everyone ready, I
washed and styled my hair for the last time. It was rough, thinking about
it. As I'm running my hands through my hair, washing it in the shower, I
was having a hard time not breaking down in tears. It's silly - with
everything I've been through, you wouldn't think that this would bother me.
But, it did. More than I care to admit.
Anyways, time came around when everyone started arriving. I
figured that making it a fun occasion, rather than a sad one, would make it
easier. I'm so glad I made that choice. It was emotional to have
everyone there, but in a good way. Kind of like, look at all these people
who took an hour out of their day to come over and support me. I am so
lucky!
My amazing, amazing friend Natalie took family pictures of us,
pre-shaving. You can see more of her work here. Then, we couldn't
delay the inevitable any more, especially since everyone was there. I had
a breakdown, and then sucked it up. Let's do this.
My breakdown was hard, but necessary. It's one thing to be a
cancer patient. It's a totally different thing to *look* like one.
As a woman, your hair becomes a fundamental part of you. It's as
essential to you as your clothes, your make-up, your face. To know that I
was willingly, purposefully shaving it off was hard to take, in spite of the
fact that I made the decision to do it.
Once I was over that, I was able to say it was definitely time.
Julia took the first swipe, and Kevin got the next ones. They both
really had fun with it, and I think it helped to have them involved. They
both seemed to take ownership of the event, and of the fact that Mommy didn't
have hair anymore. Both kids think it's pretty cool that they shaved my
head - as Julia says, not many other kids can say that they shaved their mom's
head. :)
We got photos of me with hair, mid-shave, punk style, with a
mohawk, and then bald. We got photos of the wigs (one normal, one fun!).
I can't wait to see them - they are going to be so much fun.
I decided that, if I was going to do this, I might as well do it
right. So, after cleanup and lunch, my beautiful friend Akemi, Julia and
I headed to the mall to the MAC store for some make-up retail therapy. My
friend Cher made a phone call and, in spite of it being prom season and prom
night, Stacey at the store took me right in and *hooked me UP*! It was
amazing - the picture above is a result of her fabulous work. I did pick
up some stuff to try to recreate the look, if I want (which I do).
A couple of realizations from yesterday:
- a shaved head gets cold (and hot) a lot quicker than a
fully haired head;
- despite my fears, I don't look horrible with no hair;
- people will look at your oddly when you go to the mall
with no hair;
- other cancer survivors help lift you up and support you
when you go shopping with no hair;
- wigs are hot;
- having your kids help shave your head makes this process
(and acceptance) a lot easier.
Much love
to the people who helped me (in person and virtually) through yesterday.
It was only through the laughter, tears, positive feedback, amazing
support, and hugs in person and on-line that I was able to get to today in one
piece. Now, I'm off to make today productive, and to try my hand at sassy
make-up. :)
Comments:
Melanie said...
Michelle.....
I know this process was probably one of the more difficult of all this you are
dealing with but take it from the East Coast.... you look Mah-valous!
Seriously! I know most women don't think about shaving their hair for just the
heck of it, but with the right attitude you have the look as if you did it just
to have a new "look". :-) Here in Syracuse we recently had a St.
Baldrick's Day event, so the are quite a few bald men, women, and even children
running around. And I have to say it is great to see the support everyone has
given to "the cause". And I'm so glad you could have a moment and
take some time to make it fun.... if it has to happen, at least yu can look in
he mirror and say "Look, stupid cancer! You don't get to control this!
Gotcha!" Love and miss you.... wish my finances were better to come out
and see ya. Maybe if my job hunt improves I can sneak out this summer...
April
29, 2012 at 6:18 PM
Despite
the emotions of yesterday, you still found time to update your readers. You are
superwoman. Superwoman with eyes that are super gorgeous!
April
30, 2012 at 6:36 AM
You
look very pretty! You shouldn't worry at all, this hair cut shows off you eyes!
April
30, 2012 at 7:18 PM
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