Well,
let's call this blog reboot 2.0. Apparently, this is going to be a long
war that's going to be played out in many battles. Battle Number 2 is
about to begin.
I haven't kept this updated, because I wasn't sure what to write. I'm not even sure what I'm going to write now, so you'll have to bear with me as I ramble. My mind isn't quite together yet.
I found out two days ago that my cancer is back. Lymph node involvement in the upper left region of my abdomen, with some potential activity in my lungs.
At the last scan, my CEA level was up from 1.5 to 3.5, which was still within normal range (0-5 is considered normal). Because my PET scan and colonoscopy were clear, my oncologist felt comfortable monitoring me for a while. When I went in for my CEA testing two weeks ago, the level was up to 10.7. He had me go back in for a re-do. Number was up to 10.8. Not good.
So, per the drs instructions, in for my PET scan I go. *sigh*
When I called the following day for my results, I was told I could come in that day or the next day. Well, that did not make me happy. I knew it wasn't good news.
The long and the short of it is that I have active cancer in lymph nodes in my abdomen (outside of my colon), and some suspicious spots on my lungs that are not currently showing active. That means I'm stage 4 colon cancer.
Crap.
What's the gameplan? Port gets put in on Monday, and chemo starts on Tuesday. I'll be on a chemo combination of Folfiri and Avastin. Folfiri is 5FU, laucovorin, and irinotecan. Once again, I'll be on my chemo pump for three days every two weeks. According to the doctors and nurses I've spoken with, the side effects should be nothing like what I dealt with last time - there's no Oxalipalantin, so no sensitivity to cold. Lisa, one of my chemo nurses, said I will be able to supplement my chemo with a cold beer. :) The biggest concern is diarrhea, which I'm very excited about. *insert eye roll*
So, you might ask - how am I doing? Well, ok, considering. I'm scared shitless about the possibility of what this means. I am all too aware of what this disease has the potential of doing, especially b/c it's (probably) already in my lungs. That's the ONE place I didn't want it to go. I know the stats, and I know what could happen. However, those stats aren't me.
I'm ready for the fight. I've had time to kind of get used to talking about this. I know that I'll have a very difficult time on Monday when I have to go in for my port placement. I expect Tuesday will be even more difficult - the memories of that chemo room, the smells in that office, the thought of sitting in those chairs again are just too much to bear. But, I have to do it. Why?
I haven't kept this updated, because I wasn't sure what to write. I'm not even sure what I'm going to write now, so you'll have to bear with me as I ramble. My mind isn't quite together yet.
I found out two days ago that my cancer is back. Lymph node involvement in the upper left region of my abdomen, with some potential activity in my lungs.
At the last scan, my CEA level was up from 1.5 to 3.5, which was still within normal range (0-5 is considered normal). Because my PET scan and colonoscopy were clear, my oncologist felt comfortable monitoring me for a while. When I went in for my CEA testing two weeks ago, the level was up to 10.7. He had me go back in for a re-do. Number was up to 10.8. Not good.
So, per the drs instructions, in for my PET scan I go. *sigh*
When I called the following day for my results, I was told I could come in that day or the next day. Well, that did not make me happy. I knew it wasn't good news.
The long and the short of it is that I have active cancer in lymph nodes in my abdomen (outside of my colon), and some suspicious spots on my lungs that are not currently showing active. That means I'm stage 4 colon cancer.
Crap.
What's the gameplan? Port gets put in on Monday, and chemo starts on Tuesday. I'll be on a chemo combination of Folfiri and Avastin. Folfiri is 5FU, laucovorin, and irinotecan. Once again, I'll be on my chemo pump for three days every two weeks. According to the doctors and nurses I've spoken with, the side effects should be nothing like what I dealt with last time - there's no Oxalipalantin, so no sensitivity to cold. Lisa, one of my chemo nurses, said I will be able to supplement my chemo with a cold beer. :) The biggest concern is diarrhea, which I'm very excited about. *insert eye roll*
So, you might ask - how am I doing? Well, ok, considering. I'm scared shitless about the possibility of what this means. I am all too aware of what this disease has the potential of doing, especially b/c it's (probably) already in my lungs. That's the ONE place I didn't want it to go. I know the stats, and I know what could happen. However, those stats aren't me.
I'm ready for the fight. I've had time to kind of get used to talking about this. I know that I'll have a very difficult time on Monday when I have to go in for my port placement. I expect Tuesday will be even more difficult - the memories of that chemo room, the smells in that office, the thought of sitting in those chairs again are just too much to bear. But, I have to do it. Why?
Those, right there, are my two biggest reasons.
The doctor seems optimistic that long-term remission is a possibility. So, that's my new goal. As the title says, Mission: Remission. Let's get there. I know a cure isn't going to happen to me. I don't like it, but I have to come to terms with it. So, let's aim for remission. LONG-TERM REMISSION.
You with me?
Let's do this. Bring it on, bitches. You ain't got NOTHING on this chick....
Comments:
Caroline said...
F*ck
cancer. Im with you. Start planning for grandchildren.
March
22, 2012 at 5:41 PM
You
have beautiful children. They have a beautiful, tough, momma. You will be in my
thoughts next Monday and Tuesday!
March
22, 2012 at 6:11 PM
With
you all the way Michelle! Sending you love and support from Alabama and a whole
hell of a lot of cowbell!!!
March
22, 2012 at 6:41 PM
we
are all with you on this monster..and so the fight is on...if there is anything
I can do please let me know honey....much love and many Prayers from this
family
March
23, 2012 at 3:46 AM
I'm
just so pissed off. That's all that I have to say. Also that my love is with
you always.
March
23, 2012 at 6:42 AM
It's
funny, as kids we thought the only kinds of superheros were in comic books and
TV and they all donned a cape, and are then disappointed when we find out they
don't really exist at all. But then as adults, if we're lucky, we're proven
wrong when we find out that heroes really do exist, and that there's a variety
of capes they wear. Thanks for proving me wrong, Michelle. Now let's all rally
together to fight the wicked villainous enemy, Cancer...yea, we got this!!
March
23, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Good
luck Michelle... Reading this and seeing the kids made me cry I love you so
much... Love, Brit (your little cousin)
March
25, 2012 at 7:57 AM
"Those
stats aren't me." Damn skippy! Best -cancer- support- slogan -ever. You
should trademark it.
March
27, 2012 at 9:09 AM
As
tough as the news is, you can be tougher! Stay strong and focus on the goal.
And do what my husband and I did during his chemo treatments - laugh a
lot.
steph h
livefitandsore.com
steph h
livefitandsore.com
March
28, 2012 at 10:15 AM
I
hate this f'n disease! fight as hard as you can!!!
April
11, 2012 at 9:08 PM
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