So, this
round seems to be going well. Biggest complaint at this point is the
neuropathy, which never really went away from the last cycle, so I am hopeful
that this is gone by the time I head to England. Tired yesterday, which I think
had as much to do with the pre-meds and the Ativan as it did the chemo. Feeling
better this morning, so I consider that a success. It helps, mentally, knowing
that when I get this pump off tomorrow, I will not have to put it back on for a
long time (maybe ever?!?!). As I have said before, I am trying to be cautiously
optimistic, and realize that there is a very real chance that this could come
back, whether in the next two years or in the next twenty years. So, while I am
so excited that this is the last time I will have to have chemo this year
(!!!), I understand at some level that this might not be the last in my
lifetime. And, you know what? I am okay with that. I understand that this might
be a battle that is drawn out, but I am ready - bring it on! (But, cancer,
could you give me a breather? Maybe 50 or 60 years?!?!)
Today, Levi is taking me to chemo (he came yesterday too) since Dad is with Mom at her colonoscopy. She is going through Dr McConnell, who did mine, so I am certain she is in good hands. I told her to tell Dr M I said hi.....
After chemo, Levi is going to make a phone call to a potential employer. I won't jinx it by giving away too much information, but suffice it to say that this will be a significant change in his profession, but it's something he's excited about, so that helps.
What else? I feel like I haven't written much about anything lately. I think I am trying to learn to cope with this being the end of chemo. I am very excited about not having to go through this over the holidays, and about having some semblence of energy for work next week, the holidays the week after, etc. I will admit to being a little nervous about NOT having chemo, mainly because the thought goes through your mind - if the chemo isn't in there kickinng the asses of the cancer cells, how do I know the cancer cells aren't quietly building up some twisted commune in there? I guess the only thing I can do is take care of my body, provide it with the nutrition it needs, and give it the strength and firepower to kick the snot out of the cancer that might still be in there.
D-Day has now become January 22nd, which is my follow up appt with Dr O to determine the results of the PET scan on the 19th and my bloodwork that week. Again, I am optimistic, but I won't feel like I am in the clear until that date. But, don't get me wrong - that doesn't mean I am not going to celebrate the end of chemo.
I told Julia that we are going out to lunch tomorrow to celebrate the end of chemo. I am going to celebrate the successful completion of 13 (count 'em - 13) rounds of chemotherapy, plus the fact that I was able to maintain some semblence of living. I have been able to (with the enormous help from my parents, husband, kids, family and friends) feel like I am still able to live my life, and to be an active participant in my childrens' lives. I have been able to return to work, first part-time then full-time. I have been able to be an active participant in the Wellness Community, which has been a huge life saver for me. While there are things that I miss and things that I am not able to do, I find it easier to focus on what I CAN do, and what I can do is kick cancer's ass.
I have finally started to look forward to the future. As I blogged earlier this week, my first post-chemo trip is planned, to Oxford, England to visit Jim and Tom. I have another one semi-planned, to head back to Syracuse for a week to meet my niece/nephew and to finally meet my future sister-in-law, Ash, and to stand up for her and my brother in their wedding in August. I haven't started planning Vegas yet, but girls, I am so there. Let's start looking at dates - we are going to have to talk with Sharon - she HAS to be there, and she just had a baby. I think we can cut her some slack!
I have actually started visualizing my tattoos, and I think for our anniversary I am going to take Levi to a couple of tattoo parlors, tell them my story, and see if I am comfortable with any of them. This is going to be such a huge deal for me, and I need to feel like that person feels my story and how important this is to me, and is willing to dedicate themselves to my tattoos.
So, tomorrow is the end of this battle in this war. And, I can't imagine a better Christmas present to my daughter, who has been VERY effected by this whole thing.
Today, Levi is taking me to chemo (he came yesterday too) since Dad is with Mom at her colonoscopy. She is going through Dr McConnell, who did mine, so I am certain she is in good hands. I told her to tell Dr M I said hi.....
After chemo, Levi is going to make a phone call to a potential employer. I won't jinx it by giving away too much information, but suffice it to say that this will be a significant change in his profession, but it's something he's excited about, so that helps.
What else? I feel like I haven't written much about anything lately. I think I am trying to learn to cope with this being the end of chemo. I am very excited about not having to go through this over the holidays, and about having some semblence of energy for work next week, the holidays the week after, etc. I will admit to being a little nervous about NOT having chemo, mainly because the thought goes through your mind - if the chemo isn't in there kickinng the asses of the cancer cells, how do I know the cancer cells aren't quietly building up some twisted commune in there? I guess the only thing I can do is take care of my body, provide it with the nutrition it needs, and give it the strength and firepower to kick the snot out of the cancer that might still be in there.
D-Day has now become January 22nd, which is my follow up appt with Dr O to determine the results of the PET scan on the 19th and my bloodwork that week. Again, I am optimistic, but I won't feel like I am in the clear until that date. But, don't get me wrong - that doesn't mean I am not going to celebrate the end of chemo.
I told Julia that we are going out to lunch tomorrow to celebrate the end of chemo. I am going to celebrate the successful completion of 13 (count 'em - 13) rounds of chemotherapy, plus the fact that I was able to maintain some semblence of living. I have been able to (with the enormous help from my parents, husband, kids, family and friends) feel like I am still able to live my life, and to be an active participant in my childrens' lives. I have been able to return to work, first part-time then full-time. I have been able to be an active participant in the Wellness Community, which has been a huge life saver for me. While there are things that I miss and things that I am not able to do, I find it easier to focus on what I CAN do, and what I can do is kick cancer's ass.
I have finally started to look forward to the future. As I blogged earlier this week, my first post-chemo trip is planned, to Oxford, England to visit Jim and Tom. I have another one semi-planned, to head back to Syracuse for a week to meet my niece/nephew and to finally meet my future sister-in-law, Ash, and to stand up for her and my brother in their wedding in August. I haven't started planning Vegas yet, but girls, I am so there. Let's start looking at dates - we are going to have to talk with Sharon - she HAS to be there, and she just had a baby. I think we can cut her some slack!
I have actually started visualizing my tattoos, and I think for our anniversary I am going to take Levi to a couple of tattoo parlors, tell them my story, and see if I am comfortable with any of them. This is going to be such a huge deal for me, and I need to feel like that person feels my story and how important this is to me, and is willing to dedicate themselves to my tattoos.
So, tomorrow is the end of this battle in this war. And, I can't imagine a better Christmas present to my daughter, who has been VERY effected by this whole thing.
Comments:
Young
Family said...
I
say we do Vegas in May - Memorial Day weekend.....if there are no plans in the
works already.
And, yes, she has to be there too. Hey, she can even bring Elly - my sister lives in Vegas now and we can sign her up for free baby-sitting!
And, yes, she has to be there too. Hey, she can even bring Elly - my sister lives in Vegas now and we can sign her up for free baby-sitting!
December
13, 2008 at 5:38 PM
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