My mom
came home from a trip, and told me that she spoke with someone she works with
in Albany (Hi, Michelle!!!) that had an issue with me calling myself a cancer
patient, instead of a cancer survivor.
I immediately told her that I would do this, and then had to stop and think about it. WHY do I refer to myself as a patient instead of a survivor?
As I thought about this, it dawned on me that until I get the clearance from the PET in January that I am cancer free, I can't think of myself as a survivor. For me, the term survivor refers to someone who is through the battle, and has won the fights they have fought. Whether they stay in remission or have to wage another war, they have survived one war, and to me, that's a goal. To say that I made it through the hell that is chemo.
So, while I can't wait to be a survivor, and while I realize that I AM a survivor, just by being here, I can't consider myself a survivor....yet.
Survivor means, to me, that I made it through 13 rounds of grueling chemo. I made it through the surgery, and recovery, the emotional roller coaster, and yes, through the first post-chemo PET scan.
THAT will be my New Year's gift to myself - to make it to "survivorship." I will be proud to wear that title....just as I am proud to wear the badge of a cancer patient. They both imply an inner strength, both physical and emotional. Both tell people that I have waged a war that others before me have both lost and won. And, for now, I have won. I WILL win. It's a journey, as I have said before. One I wouldn't wish on anyone, but one I am damn proud to have taken. I wouldn't be the person I am today without having gone through this. I wouldn't be the wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend that I am capable of being today. And for that, I will be eternally grateful to my cancer.
And, once I get to the point where I can consider myself a survivor (Jan 22nd, assuming we have no set backs), I can start planning my tattoos. And, Vegas. And, my trip to England. And, meeting my to-be sister-in-law and neice/nephew. And, going to visit the friends and family that have supported me through this. And, just getting back to living and laughing.
Here's to survivorship.....
I immediately told her that I would do this, and then had to stop and think about it. WHY do I refer to myself as a patient instead of a survivor?
As I thought about this, it dawned on me that until I get the clearance from the PET in January that I am cancer free, I can't think of myself as a survivor. For me, the term survivor refers to someone who is through the battle, and has won the fights they have fought. Whether they stay in remission or have to wage another war, they have survived one war, and to me, that's a goal. To say that I made it through the hell that is chemo.
So, while I can't wait to be a survivor, and while I realize that I AM a survivor, just by being here, I can't consider myself a survivor....yet.
Survivor means, to me, that I made it through 13 rounds of grueling chemo. I made it through the surgery, and recovery, the emotional roller coaster, and yes, through the first post-chemo PET scan.
THAT will be my New Year's gift to myself - to make it to "survivorship." I will be proud to wear that title....just as I am proud to wear the badge of a cancer patient. They both imply an inner strength, both physical and emotional. Both tell people that I have waged a war that others before me have both lost and won. And, for now, I have won. I WILL win. It's a journey, as I have said before. One I wouldn't wish on anyone, but one I am damn proud to have taken. I wouldn't be the person I am today without having gone through this. I wouldn't be the wife, mother, daughter, sister, or friend that I am capable of being today. And for that, I will be eternally grateful to my cancer.
And, once I get to the point where I can consider myself a survivor (Jan 22nd, assuming we have no set backs), I can start planning my tattoos. And, Vegas. And, my trip to England. And, meeting my to-be sister-in-law and neice/nephew. And, going to visit the friends and family that have supported me through this. And, just getting back to living and laughing.
Here's to survivorship.....
Comments:
Yeah,
baby!
S-U-R-V-I-V-O-R
without a question or a doubt...
you have earned it and you now can stand proud...
How about the newest member of our Disney Family? We need to make a reunion date to see Sharon!
You have quite the list, my dear! Whoo-Hoo!!!
S-U-R-V-I-V-O-R
without a question or a doubt...
you have earned it and you now can stand proud...
How about the newest member of our Disney Family? We need to make a reunion date to see Sharon!
You have quite the list, my dear! Whoo-Hoo!!!
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