DECEMBER 29, 2010

9 years and counting...

9 years ago today, I walked down the aisle and married my husband.  It's hard to imagine that we've been married for 9 years - some days it seems like it's been only a few short months - other days, it feels like it's been forever. :)

I found the wedding pictures, and here are some of my favorites.  Looking at these brought back TONS of memories. 

 Levi and I at the alter.  Imagine - I was 5 months pregnant.  Yikes!

 One of my best friends, Amy, was my maid of honor, and we had SO MUCH FUN! 

 This is part of my CP family (Walt Disney World College Program Fall 1996).  LOVE them!

My family - look at how young we all look!  What's going to happen in the next ten years!?!?  :)

DECEMBER 25, 2010

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Wishing all of my family and friends an amazing Christmas holiday!

The kids have had a wonderful week!  They had Christmas with their Grandma Donna last weekend, then Christmas with Uncle Jim and Uncle Tom on Monday.  Monday also brought their Christmas party at daycare, including cookies, games, and gift exchange.  Yesterday afternoon, they opened Christmas at Nana and Papa's house, which was WAY more than everyone expected.  (Nana likes to spoil her babies...)

And, last night, Santa visited our house, bringing lots of toys and fun stuff.  The big gift from us?  Big kid bikes!  We sent them on a scavenger hunt for their bikes, and I'm hoping they might want to go for a ride later today!

Right now, we are sitting in the living room.  The kids are surrounded by their toys, we are all watching Phineas and Ferb (apparently a very popular choice in my family), and just enjoying the day!

I hope everyone has a fabulous holiday celebration!  Much love from our family to yours!

DECEMBER 22, 2010

Finally catching up.....information on me....

Sorry I've been MIA the last couple of weeks - it's been crazy and chaotic, as you can well imagine.  I'll try to recap as best I can...

Update on my situation:
I went on December 8th for my ultrasound and mammogram.  When the breast surgeon sent the RX over, they only wanted to have the u/s and mammo done on the left side.  However, the folks at Valley Radiology were adamant that we should do both, which I felt much more comfortable with.

I went in, not sure what to expect - I've spoken with folks that have horror stories about their mammograms, and (as always) went in expecting the worst, esp b/c I'm not exactly well endowed.  However, I have to say that the tests were both easy, painless, and quick.  I went in for the mammogram first, and while it isn't something I'd like to have happen daily, it was a fairly easy test.  The mammo tech was funny when I mentioned how easy the test is - she reminded me that, compared to having a camera stuck up your rear end yearly, a mammo WOULD seem easy!  :)

I then went into the u/s room, and the tech was great, showing me what she was seeing on the screen, and explaining the difference between breast tissue, muscle, and skin.  Very cool, since the only u/s I've ever paid attention to was when I was pregnant - thankfully, she didn't see any babies!  LOL!

Now, par for the course with me, this test was not without an unusual result.  The u/s tech seemed to concentrate on a particular area of my right breast (not the one with the lump...), and after she left to examine the pictures in more detail, they took me in for another mammogram picture.  I was, obviously, VERY nervous at the time.  All I kept thinking was, I came in for the left, they found cancer in the right, and I'm done for.  *sigh*  Luckily, the mammo tech was smart enough to realize that the area of concern was in the same region as my port scar, and marked the scar with something to differentiate the scar tissue from the breast tissue.  And, thankfully, the area of concern ended up being built-up scar tissue, and nothing more.  They sent me home with my pictures and a note deeming me normal (how funny!).

On the way home, I was flipping through the radio stations and, appropriately enough, the song "If You're Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins came on.  You may remember that this song was very popular the summer I was going through chemo, and became my rally cry.  It seemed perfect that this song came on right after I went through all of this.  Again, amazing things happen when you least expect them.

So, all in all, I'm back to being cancer-free, far as we know.  January will bring another PET scan and more worrying until I get the test results.  Hoping for good news.

December 13th was my two-year mark for the end of my chemotherapy.  Hard to imagine where I am now, as compared to two years ago.  I worked out with my trainer that night, and pushed harder than I have before.  It helps, having the comparison and the history to help me get through mentally.

I posted on facebook today that my trainer helps me realize that, often, the limitations I feel are self-imposed, and it's amazing what I can do when I don't have the time to talk myself out of it.  True in a lot of situation, would you agree?  Think about it....

Later:

Update on Dad

Again, apologies for being late in getting this posted.  But, better late than never!

Dad is home, recovering from his surgery, which took place last Wednesday.  He is doing well, and recovering beautifully.  I don't think he's agree with that statement, but I see improvements each day.  He's moving around better, eating well, and his mood is great.

My brother Jim and his fiancee Tom came into town on Tuesday, right before the surgery, so they got to spend a little time with Dad before he went in.  Wednesday brought some tense moments, but the doctor is very confident that he got all of the cancer.

The next couple of days were hard on Dad, obviously, and hard on Mom as she was trying to juggle the boys, Dad, etc.  (She's so strong and amazing....)  Friday came, and Dad was given the all clear to come home.  He's been resting at the house all weekend, and yesterday went to the doctor's for his surgical follow-up and to get his staples out.  I think that will help in the healing process - those are NOT comfortable!  We spent most of the day on Monday at the house, and while I'm fairly certain we wore Dad out, we all enjoyed the time we had.

Dad got confirmation yesterday that his tumor was indeed cancer, and stage three at that.  It was a shock to everyone, b/c we know from experience how close that is to stage four.  The doctor did say, with complete confidence, that he's sure the cancer was contained and they got it all in the surgery.  There is no need for chemo or radiation, which is a blessing.  And, Dad doesn't have to go back to the drs until May, for his 6 month check-up.  Truly, a Christmas miracle!

Jim and Tom leave today to head to Christmas celebration with Tom's family in the Carribbean (nice, huh?), and I think we are all looking forward to a quiet holiday weekend.  While it's wonderful to have family in town, it's been a week of chaos and craziness, so the downtime will be a blessing for all of us.  Levi is sick (with a cold, and he's workinng in Tucson - good times), Mom is apparently sick (probably wore herself down with everything this week), and I'm going to the store today to stock up on Vitamin C and other immune-system building supplements.  :)

Will update more as I have information, but for now, thanks so much for the prayers and good thoughts.  They have helped enormously, and we are all so grateful. 

Comments:

change-is-possible.net said...

I'm gonna ask a totally stupid question, but what do they mean by stage 3? In lymphoma, the difference between stage 2 and stage 3 is that in stage 2, the cancer is all on one side of the diaphragm (in my case, above), and in stage 3 it is on both sides (so in another lymph node, for example). I had assumed, until I read this post, that that was true for all cancers, but I guess not?

Regardless, I'm glad he's doing well and the docs think they got it all — both good news!

December 22, 2010 at 2:10 PM

DECEMBER 8, 2010

Updates on Dad and Me

As my last post said, Dad's home and doing well.  He's up, moving around and enjoying life.  He seems to be in good spirits, and we are all anxiously awaiting the surgery date.  Dad and Mom went to the doctor's on Monday to discuss the new surgery plans, and they are both comfortable with the new doctor as well as the gameplan.  Basically, the doctor will make a small incision (about 4 inches) above the belly button, along with two laproscopic incisions on his left side.  The two small incisions will be used for the camera and tool, and the large incision will be used for the removal of the kidney once it's detached.  Recovery time will be about 3-4 weeks, with about 2-5 days in the hospital.  The dr seems to feel that the remaining kidney will be able to pick up the function with no issues, and that Dad will be off and running (so to speak) within a month or so.  The bone scan indicated that there's been no metastasizing of the cancer, which is a good thing.  Basically, the doctor told Mom and Dad that he's very lucky he fell and we found this - the alternative wouldn't be good at all.  Thank goodness he fell...

I went to the breast surgeon yesterday, and it appears that the lump is gone (likely a cyst).  She did an in-office ultrasound yesterday, and there's a small shadow in the area (shadowing from the cyst or a fibrous adenoma), so she's sending me for an ultrasound and mammogram today.  Either of those options are harmless, so both are good.  :)  However, she's being cautious given my history, which I'm grateful for.  I expect that there will be no issues, and that when I got back for a follow-up on January 13th, all will be well.

Will let you all know when Dad's surgery date is - hoping to get it today... 

Later:

Surgery date for Dad

Dad's surgery date is set....next Wednesday, 12/15 in the morning.  

DECEMBER 3, 2010

Dad's Home!

Dad came home from the hospital yesterday, and as I understand it is enjoying being home much more than he liked the hospital.  Not surprising, given the fact that I don't think my father can sit in one place for more than a few moments at a time (sounds like someone else I know.....me, maybe?).

Doctor's appointment on Monday to discuss options for surgery.  My doctor's appointment is on tuesday, so a full week overall.  Hopefully, we will all have good news next week.

Now, to get rid of this cold...

Comments:

Whidbey Woman said...

Keep thinking positive!!!!

December 3, 2010 at 7:33 PM

 Tina said...

Glad to hear he's home, Michelle. Keeping you both in my prayers!

December 3, 2010 at 9:12 PM

DECEMBER 2, 2010

Dad Hospital Update, day 5

Day 5: Dad is still in the hospital, though it looks like he might come home today.  He had a bone scan yesterday, and the internist isn't comfortable releasing Dad until he sees the results.

Mom and Dad took a call yesterday from the urologist, who consulted with a colleague on Dad's case.  Apparently, the original urologist (Dr. Chung) still has concerns about Dad's back and how it will handle the surgery.  He consulted with another Dr (Dr. H - I can't remember his name, so we'll pretend that's it), who has experience in a surgical technique that uses laproscopic surgery to remove the kidney, through incisions lower on the abdomen, rather than a single large incision higher up on the abdomen.  It sounds like this will have less overall effect on Dad, but there are still a lot of questions (obviously).  Mom and Dad have a pre-op appointment on Monday to discuss.  I'm hoping to go with them.

Thanks again for all the love and support - it's definitely a blessing to have you all rooting for him (and me).  Here's hoping for good news overall!

NOVEMBER 30, 2010

Two more cancer scares in the family......stupid cancer....

First, I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Ours was, um, long.  And, not in a good way.

Over the weekend, we have had two major things happen.  First (and, in my opinion, the most important) is that my father is in the hospital.  He fell a couple of weeks ago, and had some back pain due to it.  We thought it was getting better, but over the weekend, the pain came back worse than ever.  He asked my mom to take him to the ER here in AZ Saturday night, and they admitted him.  They did a CT scan (assuming he was dealing with kidney stones), and found a 4-5cm *something* on his kidney.  Obviously, this was cause for concern, especially because the urologist doesn't feel that this is the cause of the pain.

They did an MRI yesterday, and found potential issues with his spine.  As a result, they also did an X-ray, and we expect the results of both today.  There has been talk of the *something* being a tumor, and obviously that's going to have to be investigated.  Right now, there are two separate issues - the back pain, and the kidney.  As I said, the doctor doesn't seem to feel that they are related issues.  It seems as if the back pain allowed them to find the kidney issue.  Thank goodness.

Right now, while we'd like to hope that this is going to be nothing more than a bruise, we are planning for the very real possibility that my father could have kidney cancer.  I have been doing some preliminary research, and it looks like (if that's the case), we caught it early.  Always a good thing.  We should have more information today, and I will let you all know.  (My dad just texted me - they moved him to a suite-like room, and he's now worried that this is to offset bad news.)

On top of this, over the weekend, I found a lump on my left breast.  *sigh*  I was able to get in to see my doctor yesterday, and he thinks it's just a cyst.  However, given the circumstances, no one wants to take any chances, so I have an appointment with a breast surgeon next week to get an ultrasound done and to determine whether I need to worry.  Until then, I'll try not to worry too much.  :)

So, if you have time, good through, good vibes, and prayers are welcome and appreciated.  I'll update on both accounts as soon as I can. 

Comments:

change-is-possible.net said...

Of course, I hope that there are no cancers and that the back pain is resolve-able.

If it is at all helpful, my brother-in-law had kidney cancer that was caught early because of some other problem. That was 10 or more years ago, and he's had no problems since then.

November 30, 2010 at 8:59 AM

 dcwriting said...

Michelle, you have one hell of a strong family. You will get through anything and you will always have someone to lean on. Hopefully this all turns out to be nothing so you won't have anything to get through though except normal day to day life (which can in and of itself be a struggle!). I send my thoughts and prayers out there to you and your father.

Danielle (Ashley's friend from the bridal party).

November 30, 2010 at 10:57 AM

Later:

Update on Dad

Quick update on my dad: MRI came back confirming that that *something* on his tumor is definitely solid, and was picking up the contrast from the MRI, which means it also has blood flow to it.  Based on this, the assumption is that the tumor is likely cancer.  Regardless of the diagnosis (which can't happen until the doctors are able to biopsy the tumor), the kidney must come out.  The tumor is 5.7 cm in width (about 2 inches); if it doesn't come out, it will cause problems in the future.

Right now, the biggest issue is getting his back healed.  The MRI and X-ray didn't show any bone or other damage, which is good news.  The pain is probably a combination of the spinal stenosis, the arthritis, and a twist in the wrong direction (as well as the fall he took).

Next step is to get Dad home.  They are running a bone scan tomorrow to get a baseline (kidney cancer will metastasize to the bones) and then he heads home.  After that, all energies need to be toward getting his back to a point where the doctor is willing and able to perform the surgery.

Mom and Dad will meet with the doctor next week to discuss the surgery further, and to discuss options.  Until then, please keep them both in your thoughts.

Comments:

Kelley said...

I love you all, and you are all in my thoughts and prayers. If there is ANYTHING that I can do, even if it's just to pray my damn heart out, let me know!

LOVE YOU!!!!

November 30, 2010 at 8:01 PM

NOVEMBER 23, 2010

I hate cancer...

This disease is awful, horrible, and all sorts of other words.

After a week of wishful thinking, a post was uploaded to a friend's blog that confirmed my worst fears.  For those of you that don't know Melissa's story, you can read through the blog.  Basically, she's a young adult (32 years old) that was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer.  She's fought it with dignity and honesty, and it looks like she's nearing the end of her battle.

*sigh*

Last week, Levi told me about someone he met whose 17 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer here in Phoenix.

Why?  There's no reason for any of this.  And yet, if I spend my time wondering why, I won't get anywhere.  So, I'll continue to fight on behalf of myself and the others who can no longer fight.

Stupid cancer.  Stupid, stupid cancer. 

NOVEMBER 11, 2010

Sensitivity to cold?

I"m almost two years out from my last chemo treatment.  I'm well past my 2-year mark on my last Oxalipalantin treatment.  And yet, I think I may still have latent issues from that drug.

Last night, my trainer and I worked out outdoors.  She's been waiting for this time, and now that I'm not actively training for the 5k, she's able to work hard-core on my legs (oh goody).  Lots of squats, lots of leg presses, etc.  Some of these are difficult at best to do while we are in a fairly crowded gym.  Trying to do lunges and squats while watching to make sure I don't get run over or run into a piece of equipment is difficult.  So, outside we went.

The past couple of workouts have been harder, and I think it's in part due to the fact that she's working legs - larger muscle group = higher level of difficulty.  Great - I need all the help I can get.  I haven't been eating as well as I should (quite honestly, I'm struggling with this because I just don't have the information I need, but that's another posting...), and we both agree that this isn't helping the fact that I get 10 minutes into a workout and start to flounder.  My body needs the fuel to do the hard work I'm asking of it, and (like a car) if there's no fuel, there's no go.

Yesterday, I ate lunch around 11:30, then had a snack (apple and cheese stick) around 1:30, then a protein shake around 3:30.  That should have been sufficient (I think) to fuel my body for yesterday's workout.  Nope - 10 minutes into this outdoors workout, I was struggling SO MUCH.  I had trouble breathing, was light-headed, and could barely make it through.  My trainer thought it was due to not eating.

I have another theory.  (Please don't laugh.)  I think that my body was reacting to the cool (cold to me) air I was breathing in.  Arizona has had a cold spell come through.  Remember that less than a week ago, we were dealing with record heat - 90s and above.  This week, we are topping out at 70 or 72, and that's with peak sunlight.  By the time we worked out last night, the air was probably 60 or 65.  While I understand that this might not be extreme for other folks, my lungs were in full revolt.  I think it was a combination of the hard workout (which really wasn't all that hard, in retrospect) and the cold air in my lungs.

Thoughts?

Part of this was confirmed for me this morning when I left the house with the kids.  I walked outdoors and took a breath, my lungs seized up and caught me off guard.  I felt like my chest constricted and it took a minute to get back to normal.  If a single breath can have that effect, what will a good workout do to me, when it's outdoors?

Am I making up excuses?  I hope not.  I really do think that the chemo I was on had a profound effect on my body's ability to handle cold.  Combine that with the fact that my blood has thinned out as a result of living in the desert, and I think those were a potent combination last night.  My entire body gets chilled very quickly now.  I mean, it's 70 degrees outside, and I'm in a tee shirt, sweatshirt, jeans, socks, shoes, and have the heat on.  This wasn't the case prior to chemo - remember, I lived most of my life in upstate NY, where we take pride in being able to weather the winter cold in February without a jacket.  We also lived in MN for four years, where I'm pretty sure icicles have to go inside to warm up in the winter.  I shouldn't be this sensitive to the cold weather.  And yet, I find myself counting the days until I know the heat comes back.

I'll be interested to see if any other survivors have had similar issues.  This is something that I'm very interested in - the Oxy drug is still fairly new, and while the doctors tend to blow off my suppositions about the side effects (especially this late in the game), I tend to think that maybe, I'm experiencing those small side effects that fall under "others as noted." 

Comments:

change-is-possible.net said...

Depending on what you had for lunch (and breakfast), it sounds like you probably ate enough before you trained. But if you had no breakfast and a super-light lunch, then you likely didn't eat enough.

You'll also lose a lot of training power if you're dehydrated. Even very slight dehydration causes pretty significant loss in performance.

Also, for me and exercise: if I am going to work out hard, I need a fairly significant warm-up. If I don't foam roll, active stretch, warm up for 10-15 minutes, I'm wiped pretty quickly. Also, for me, unless there's a really gradual build-up, I'm quick out of the gate, then I'm exhausted in 10 minutes and want to quit, then in another 5-10 minutes, I find my groove.

As far as the cold ... I am frozen at anything below 80 ;) which has nothing to do with chemo. I've always been on the cold side, and since I moved here, it's gotten worse because I've completely adapted to hot. So it might be chemo-related for you, but it might just be that you've adapted to the desert summer.

Hopefully there's something useful for you in there somewhere...

November 11, 2010 at 10:57 AM

 Whidbey Woman said...

No doubt, weather changes affect our health. It turned cold here at the beginning of the week and my asthma/allergies flared up.
From what I heard, 'fuel' for athletes is quite a science. Can't help you, there but I'm sure others will chime in.

November 12, 2010 at 10:09 PM

 Heather Paulson, ND, FABNO said...

Hey Michelle,

If you ever want to talk about specific nutrients for addressing the long term side effects of Oxaliplatin let me know. I would love to help get your body back on track...no charge of course!

December 20, 2010 at 11:13 AM

NOVEMBER 5, 2010

Two unrelated, important things....

Non-Cancer Related:
This blog posting has gone viral, and I can see why.  If you haven't seen it (and don't want to click on the link), it's a mom telling how her 5 year-old son dressed up like Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween, and the reactions from some of the parents (not the kids, mind you - the PARENTS) at his preschool.  I love how this mom stands up for her child, and allows him to be himself, regardless of what others might think.  I love that she's taken the stand on this with other parents who want to judge a 5 year-old child based on his Halloween costume, and think that this is a Christian way of doing things (no offense meant to anyone).  While I can't claim to be religious, and won't ever claim to be knowledgeable in anything related to any holy book, I do know that religions preach acceptance and love and peace.  Hmmmm....seems like these moms (A, B, and C in the posting) forgot about that.

I have learned in the course of the past several years (well, probably the past couple of years, if I'm honest with myself) that judging people based on looks, presumptions, and preconceived notions don't make you a good, worthy, or decent person.  It makes you worse than the people you feel righteous enough to judge.  Example: When I was starting chemo, the doctors gave me an RX for a mouthwash that helped with the horrible mouth sores that tend to accompany chemo.  The only place locally that made this stuff is in a section of town that literally has rules on the age you must be to live in these retirement neighborhoods (you can't be under 55 to live here - and, no, I'm not kidding).  When I went to pick up the meds, I was exhausted, still recovering from my colon resection, port implant, and my first round of chemo.  Yes, I parked in the handicapped spot, with my blue tag hung in the right place.  And, boy - did I get an earful from several of the folks at the medical facility.  "Why did YOU park there?"  "You don't look like you need that space..."  And, "I should call the cops on you - you're using a stolen sticker."  Um, go ahead - here's my story.  (Insert angry rant here....) What's yours?!?!?  I didn't rant - I was too tired.  But, upon digesting this experience, I realized that I had been no different before this experience, prejudging others based only on what I could see.  It made the impact of my judgements really hit home, and I now strive to make sure that I don't judge folks using limited information.  I admit, this isn't as easy as I thought it would be, but I consider it a work in progress, and a lesson that I continue to hammer home with my children.

Cancer Related Article:

This article from MSNBC tells about a potential new test that could detect a large percentage of colon cancers (Stages I, II, and III as well as large pre-cancerous tumors/polyps) without use of a colonoscopy.  Imagine the potential lives that can be saved!  Unfortunately, in spite of the overal decrease in the number of colon cancer diagnoses in the past several years, there are still a large number of people dying from this disease, including younger folks who can't/won't get tested via colonoscopy due to stigma, insurance issues, etc.  Think of how much good this test could do if we were able to use a less invasive test to detect potential cancer or pre-cancer.  One of the many complaints I hear from minorities that I speak with about prevention is that, due to cultural reasons, they won't get their colonoscopies and won't talk about issues with their doctors, often until it's too late.  Could this change that mindset?  I might be overly optimistic, but I'm hopeful.

I'm so glad to see colon and rectal cancer getting so much press lately.  Perhaps this is the start of a movement to get the public to see colon cancer as a socially acceptable disease to talk about - so often, people back off when you refer to colon cancer.  I've seen a shift in the past couple of years - I'm hopeful that this will continue.  There is so much good coming down the line that I can't wait to share with you once I have official information - you are all going to be SO EXCITED about what's coming in the next 12 months.  There are amazing partnerships and the like on the way that can and will have a MAJOR impact on how colon cancer is viewed and treated.  I am prouder than proud to be involved with the folks at the forefront of these movements, and am so glad to be able to give what I can to help out.  It's not much, but if we can help a few people, then it makes it all worth it.

And, with that, I'm off.  Have a wonderful Friday, all!

NOVEMBER 2, 2010

Better than I thought....by 12 seconds....

MICHELLE HASTINGS #710

Age: 34 Gender: F

Distance	5K
Clock Time	42:08
Chip Time	41:25
Overall Place	16 / 45
Gender Place	203 / 31
Pace	13:20

POSTED BY MICHELLE AT 6:36 AM 

Comments:

Whidbey Woman said...

Way to go! I admire you for setting goals for yourself, training hard, and then surpassing them :)

November 3, 2010 at 7:57 PM