I feel
like I have been neglecting this blog, and that I don't have that much to say
anymore now that I am not actively in chemo. It's an odd feeling - I know
people are keeping tabs on this blog, and so I don't want to let you all down
by not updating, but then I don't feel like I have much relevant information to
share. So, apologies.
This week I will hopefully be posting like mad. Tomorrow afternoon is my first post-chemo PET scan and blood work, and I get my results on Thursday at 4:15. I am really anxious about this one. Because I have been off of the chemo for a month now, has the cancer tried to come back? Has it taken a vacation, only to rest up and come back with a vengeance? Or, did I really kick this cancer's ass? We'll know shortly.
I really need to get a phone with internet, so I can ad twitter to this blog and update as I get ideas. I have these things that pop into my head while I'm doing something silly like, working. And, I can't update the blog at work (well, I could but it wouldn't be a good idea... ;-) ). So, twitter would work, in that I could post a quit snippet about my thoughts, and then move on with the next activity.
Things that have crossed my mind this past week or so - what is going on in my body that I don't know about? What is going to happen in the future? How has this cancer journey affected my kids? Why was I chosen to go through this? What else am I going to have to face in the future, and will this really make me a stronger person?
Levi started his new job this week, and while he doesn't get paid until he sells his first deal, working at this point is a plus. We are really on the brink of financial despair, so I am hoping that he kicks some serious selling ass and makes this work. If you work in AZ and your company doesn't have Aflac insurance (supplemental insurance), please let me know so we can get Levi in with your company to discuss it. It doesn't cost them a thing, and it's priceless. Believe me, if we had the capability to have Aflac before I was sick, we wouldn't be where we are today financially.
Levi and I are still doing Weight Watchers, and while I admit that it's frustrating to see him lose weight more quickly than me, I am trying to focus more on providing my body with the strength and energy it needs to heal and fight off rogue cells than focusing on the weight loss. That will come with the rest, is my thought process. It is going to be interesting this week to see what the scale at the drs office says. I figure that's way more accurate than my home scale, which seems to like to mess with my weight intermittently, so that I really don't know where I am.
I have been walking and lifting weights 3-4 times each week, which I figure is a good start. The problem I am actually running into is that about 1.5 kilometers into my walk, my neuropathy kick up, both in my feet and in my fingers. Fingers, not a problem since I don't use them to walk. However, when my feet start bothering me, I have to get home pronto. I actually tripped the other day and almost fell flat on my keester, because I couldn't feel where my feet were. It's an odd sensation, and one I don't care for. But, the thought I keep trying to focus on is that the more I walk, the more my body and my nerves are going to rejuvenate, and hopefully get back to normal all the sooner. I am hoping that this starts to happen soon - I go to England in two months, and I want to be able to walk around without seeming like an invalid.
Really, that's the worst of the left-over side effects, so far. The chemo seems to have done a number on my brain, so while I am working full time and (I think) returning to school next month, I am still really struggling with things like comprehending what I read, remembering things, etc. Some days are really good, but others - well, I can read a page three or four times and still not get what I just read. It's like I read it and poof - it disappears from my head. This is so frustrating for me, who (B.C.) was able to skim a page and understand most everything on it - now I have to re-learn how to study, listen, etc. So, just another modification to my life because of the cancer.
Stupid cancer.
I think that's it, for now. I am working with a local group of people to set up a local chapter of the Colon Cancer Alliance. We hope to have the paperwork submitted this month, with the official notice being sent shortly thereafter. They have asked me to be on the Board of Directors, as the Outreach Director. Basically, with the help of some other ladies, I will be working to spread the word for colorectal cancer awareness, which as you know is something I will work my entire life to promote. I will post more on that as I have more information - we have a meeting on Wednesday.
I really think that's about it. To all my friends and family in the northern part of the country - remember, Phoenix is only a few hours away. I will try to think of you as I am enjoying the view of the mountains on my walk this morning. It's a bit chilly, so I may have to wear a jacket over my short-sleeved shirt. Life's rough here in AZ. I should still be able to open my windows to air the house out today, and then BBQ with Dad for dinner. I love living here....
Tee hee hee - yes, I am still a bitch. And, yes, that's what allowed me to fight this cancer. Let me have my moments of joy, will ya? :-)
This week I will hopefully be posting like mad. Tomorrow afternoon is my first post-chemo PET scan and blood work, and I get my results on Thursday at 4:15. I am really anxious about this one. Because I have been off of the chemo for a month now, has the cancer tried to come back? Has it taken a vacation, only to rest up and come back with a vengeance? Or, did I really kick this cancer's ass? We'll know shortly.
I really need to get a phone with internet, so I can ad twitter to this blog and update as I get ideas. I have these things that pop into my head while I'm doing something silly like, working. And, I can't update the blog at work (well, I could but it wouldn't be a good idea... ;-) ). So, twitter would work, in that I could post a quit snippet about my thoughts, and then move on with the next activity.
Things that have crossed my mind this past week or so - what is going on in my body that I don't know about? What is going to happen in the future? How has this cancer journey affected my kids? Why was I chosen to go through this? What else am I going to have to face in the future, and will this really make me a stronger person?
Levi started his new job this week, and while he doesn't get paid until he sells his first deal, working at this point is a plus. We are really on the brink of financial despair, so I am hoping that he kicks some serious selling ass and makes this work. If you work in AZ and your company doesn't have Aflac insurance (supplemental insurance), please let me know so we can get Levi in with your company to discuss it. It doesn't cost them a thing, and it's priceless. Believe me, if we had the capability to have Aflac before I was sick, we wouldn't be where we are today financially.
Levi and I are still doing Weight Watchers, and while I admit that it's frustrating to see him lose weight more quickly than me, I am trying to focus more on providing my body with the strength and energy it needs to heal and fight off rogue cells than focusing on the weight loss. That will come with the rest, is my thought process. It is going to be interesting this week to see what the scale at the drs office says. I figure that's way more accurate than my home scale, which seems to like to mess with my weight intermittently, so that I really don't know where I am.
I have been walking and lifting weights 3-4 times each week, which I figure is a good start. The problem I am actually running into is that about 1.5 kilometers into my walk, my neuropathy kick up, both in my feet and in my fingers. Fingers, not a problem since I don't use them to walk. However, when my feet start bothering me, I have to get home pronto. I actually tripped the other day and almost fell flat on my keester, because I couldn't feel where my feet were. It's an odd sensation, and one I don't care for. But, the thought I keep trying to focus on is that the more I walk, the more my body and my nerves are going to rejuvenate, and hopefully get back to normal all the sooner. I am hoping that this starts to happen soon - I go to England in two months, and I want to be able to walk around without seeming like an invalid.
Really, that's the worst of the left-over side effects, so far. The chemo seems to have done a number on my brain, so while I am working full time and (I think) returning to school next month, I am still really struggling with things like comprehending what I read, remembering things, etc. Some days are really good, but others - well, I can read a page three or four times and still not get what I just read. It's like I read it and poof - it disappears from my head. This is so frustrating for me, who (B.C.) was able to skim a page and understand most everything on it - now I have to re-learn how to study, listen, etc. So, just another modification to my life because of the cancer.
Stupid cancer.
I think that's it, for now. I am working with a local group of people to set up a local chapter of the Colon Cancer Alliance. We hope to have the paperwork submitted this month, with the official notice being sent shortly thereafter. They have asked me to be on the Board of Directors, as the Outreach Director. Basically, with the help of some other ladies, I will be working to spread the word for colorectal cancer awareness, which as you know is something I will work my entire life to promote. I will post more on that as I have more information - we have a meeting on Wednesday.
I really think that's about it. To all my friends and family in the northern part of the country - remember, Phoenix is only a few hours away. I will try to think of you as I am enjoying the view of the mountains on my walk this morning. It's a bit chilly, so I may have to wear a jacket over my short-sleeved shirt. Life's rough here in AZ. I should still be able to open my windows to air the house out today, and then BBQ with Dad for dinner. I love living here....
Tee hee hee - yes, I am still a bitch. And, yes, that's what allowed me to fight this cancer. Let me have my moments of joy, will ya? :-)
Comments:
Tom H said...
Hi
Michelle!
I have been waiting for an update to know how you are feeling! I will thinking of you tomorrow. I hope everything goes well.
Don't get too down about the Weight Watchers, men's bodies are more willing to shed fat than women's. This is true even at the Olympic level, so you're not unusual =)
As for the exercising and recovering from chemo, I would check out yoga and Pilates if I were you. Both of them (esp Pilates) are really good for your body, and it's more strenuous exercise than you think. More importantly, though, it's low impact in your body, whereas the running is unnecessarily hard on even a non-chemo-recovering body! Also, the exercise from Pilates is ideal for getting a toned, lean body. Weight lifting is also very traumatic to the body, and imo there's no reason to have to deal with muscle trauma and recovery on top of everything else. Yoga has, in certain cases, been known to help with nerve issues. No promises that it will fix it, but it also just helps with your overall well-being regardless.
As for cardio, try doing the elliptical machine instead of running. It's much better for your knees and shins, and might not encourage the neuropathy as much.
Anyway, good luck with everything. I can't WAIT for your visit to England. We are counting down the days over here =)
Love you!
--Tom
I have been waiting for an update to know how you are feeling! I will thinking of you tomorrow. I hope everything goes well.
Don't get too down about the Weight Watchers, men's bodies are more willing to shed fat than women's. This is true even at the Olympic level, so you're not unusual =)
As for the exercising and recovering from chemo, I would check out yoga and Pilates if I were you. Both of them (esp Pilates) are really good for your body, and it's more strenuous exercise than you think. More importantly, though, it's low impact in your body, whereas the running is unnecessarily hard on even a non-chemo-recovering body! Also, the exercise from Pilates is ideal for getting a toned, lean body. Weight lifting is also very traumatic to the body, and imo there's no reason to have to deal with muscle trauma and recovery on top of everything else. Yoga has, in certain cases, been known to help with nerve issues. No promises that it will fix it, but it also just helps with your overall well-being regardless.
As for cardio, try doing the elliptical machine instead of running. It's much better for your knees and shins, and might not encourage the neuropathy as much.
Anyway, good luck with everything. I can't WAIT for your visit to England. We are counting down the days over here =)
Love you!
--Tom
January
18, 2009 at 9:56 AM
jnwhiteh said...
As
silly as it seems, Twitter is actually really nice for that reason
specifically. You can post a thought and then move on, and it's really quick
and easy to share good articles, links or words of wisdom. Tom and I are both
using it (it also updates our Facebook status at the same time) and it's worked
pretty well.
I can't agree with Tom more about Pilates or Yoga. They may seem all new-agey and crazy but they can give your mind a chance to focus while working on something that really benefits your body without the harshness of lifting weights.
I love you and miss you so much, I can't wait for you to come visit!
I can't agree with Tom more about Pilates or Yoga. They may seem all new-agey and crazy but they can give your mind a chance to focus while working on something that really benefits your body without the harshness of lifting weights.
I love you and miss you so much, I can't wait for you to come visit!
January
18, 2009 at 2:30 PM
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