Wednesday, March 20, 2013

MARCH 20, 2013



Yes, I'm counting down.  You bet your sweet ass I'm counting down.  5 rounds done.  20 more to go for this phase.

I'm learning more and more about the radiation each day.  I ask questions.  I ask *a lot* of questions.  I warned them, but I don't know if they truly understood how many questions I ask.  But, I want to know what's happening, what's going on, why the machine does something today than it did yesterday.

Here's what I've learned so far.  For my particular type of treatment (because, remember, each person has a unique treatment, meant for them and for their particular cancer), my current radiation is an open-field radiation.  They are radiating my entire lower pelvis region.  As far as I can tell, it's from about just below my belly button down to (sorry to be graphic) just above my girly-regions.

Apologies to my boss, any work folks, my parents and brothers....well, everyone, really.

Anyways...the radiation is delivered in four steps, as I think of them.  Top, bottom, left and right.  My radiation starts by me walking into the radiation area.  They confirm who I am visually (they took a photo of me on day 1), via my arm band, and by confirming my birth date.  Every. Single. Time.  There are no assumptions, no "Well, we've seen you many times so we'll just trust you are who you say you are."  It's very procedural, very specific, very safety-driven.

I take off my shoes, jump up on the table, and get settled.  My feet go into the mold that they made during the radiation simulation, and they cover me with a warm blanket.  As they are getting things settled, I pull my pants down to knee-range.  This allows them to see the tattoos that they made, and to line up the guide lights used to make sure I'm where I'm supposed to be.  There is usually some tugging and pulling of the blanket I'm laying on to make sure I'm lined up, and then they head to the "safety zone".

Depending on the day, the machine takes anywhere from, oh, say 10-15 minutes to do what it needs to do.  Some days, they take extra scans of my body....not for diagnostic purposes, but to ensure that I'm still lined up, inside, where I'm supposed to be.  The actual radiation beams take maybe 3 minutes.  Once it's all said and done, they come back in, pull me out of the machine, and I get dressed and head out.

One of the questions I've asked is whether the radiation is effective only when the "beam in use" light is on.  Apparently, the radiation works for weeks after it's applied, which is why they will wait a couple/few weeks before doing another CT scan on me.  So, people....I'm now a full-time cancer killing machine!

Today, as I walked out of the radiation area, there was a bell-ringing celebration taking place.  Someone completed treatment, and rang the end-of-treatment bell.  Oh, how I want SO BADLY to ring that bell.  I worry that I won't ever be able to, since we won't know how things are going until we get the CT scan back, weeks after I'm *done*.  That makes me a little sad, but I'm still hopeful.

This weekend is going to be super busy.  Blogger Summit at CTCA, the Home Run for Life....I'm going to be exhausted.  I'm just hoping I don't wear myself out.  I'm sure I will.  I suppose this is a good test for me, though.  I'm contemplating going back to work, but I have concerns about whether I will be able to handle it.  This will be a good way for me to tell.  I spoke to Kia, my PA, today, and she wasn't happy with me when I brought it up.  I believe her words were, "YOU NEED TO REST!!!"

We'll see what happens when I talk with her tomorrow.  :)

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