Are
hiccups one of the latent side effects of chemo? Lately, I have been having
small episodes of the hiccups. I wonder if it's just me, or if it's something
else wrong.
Isn't it funny (not ha-ha funny, but odd funny) how before cancer, you kind of explain away things that are wrong with you. Once I was diagnosed, though, I tend to look more deeply at issues that I am dealing with that aren't normal. Pain in my hip - did the cancer spread to my bones? Headache - tumor in my brain? Hiccups - latent side effect? (really, I think it's just my body being wierd.)
I think this is something that all cancer patients must learn to cope with. There is definitely a fine line between realistically handling your diagnosis (and the potential recurrence) and panicking about every little thing. I want to pay heed to my body, to the signs it's providing me with and make sure that I catch things early. However, I also want to be rid of the doctor's appointments, the doubt, the constant worry that niggles at the base of your brian each day when you wake up.
How do you handle this issue? Have you figured out a way to deal with the concerns? Do you HAVE concerns?
Isn't it funny (not ha-ha funny, but odd funny) how before cancer, you kind of explain away things that are wrong with you. Once I was diagnosed, though, I tend to look more deeply at issues that I am dealing with that aren't normal. Pain in my hip - did the cancer spread to my bones? Headache - tumor in my brain? Hiccups - latent side effect? (really, I think it's just my body being wierd.)
I think this is something that all cancer patients must learn to cope with. There is definitely a fine line between realistically handling your diagnosis (and the potential recurrence) and panicking about every little thing. I want to pay heed to my body, to the signs it's providing me with and make sure that I catch things early. However, I also want to be rid of the doctor's appointments, the doubt, the constant worry that niggles at the base of your brian each day when you wake up.
How do you handle this issue? Have you figured out a way to deal with the concerns? Do you HAVE concerns?
Comments:
Jamie said...
My
first week of chemo gave me the hiccups big time. Sometimes I couldn't even
finish one hiccup before two more would come. They would last for up to an
hour. I felt no nausea, no stomach upset in general, but when the hiccups would
kick in they would sometimes make me feel like throwing up (after several in a
row without stopping).
Hiccups sound so innocuous. I didn't know they could be such an awful side effect.
The next treatment, the Doc gave me some meds for hiccups. I took them 'just in case' and didn't get hiccups that time. Since then, I haven't used them at all and the hiccups haven't returned for some reason.
Have you been to http://www.crazysexycancer.com/ ? (I'm not associated with the site, I just found it inspiring).
Hiccups sound so innocuous. I didn't know they could be such an awful side effect.
The next treatment, the Doc gave me some meds for hiccups. I took them 'just in case' and didn't get hiccups that time. Since then, I haven't used them at all and the hiccups haven't returned for some reason.
Have you been to http://www.crazysexycancer.com/ ? (I'm not associated with the site, I just found it inspiring).
May
22, 2009 at 6:06 AM
Later:
I have so
much to do this weekend. Probably a good thing, being that I don't want to
dwell on the cancerversary. Here's a confession - I'm not ready to celebrate
yet. I feel like it isn't something I can celebrate. I feel like I haven't
fully come to grips with what I have been through over the past year, and I am
nervous to celebrate my remission. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that I am IN
remission. But, I still worry about the cancer. Has it come back? Will it come
back? What will I do if it does?
I feel like I don't want to mess with karma. I don't want to jinx myself. I don't dare admit to myself, completely and totally, that I am cancer-free. I feel like I am giving the cancer permission to come back if I do. I am usually an optimist, and I am not generally a superstitious person, however, I feel like it's bad luck to celebrate. I worry that if I celebrate being in remission and cancer-free, I will be so much more disappointed if the cancer recurs.
As I've said before, I don't think I've dealt with the anger related to my diagnosis, either. There has to be anger. How can there NOT be? I unknowingly had this demon enter my system and try to take it over. For a stubborn, control-type New Yorker, this pisses me off. Don't try to do something without my permission in my body. Don't you DARE. And yet, it did. It grew in there for who knows how long, and it took a doctor sticking a tube up my ass to find out.
Then, I had to not only put my life on hold, but I had to uproot the lives of my kids, my husband, my parents, my brothers, friends, family, colleagues, my employer and co-workers, etc. I had to make the dreaded phone call - "Hey, Happy Memorial Day, how's things? Good to hear - by the way, I have cancer." I don't think anyone that hasn't had to make that call has any idea how hard it is. I can't imagine what it's like to take that call.
And, there are other things that I worry about. Things like, with colon cancer, you have a higher rate of ovarian cancer, breast cancer, uterine cancer. So, do I need to have those things taken care of now, as a pre-emptive measure?
Will my kids/brothers/parents get this disease?
I had hoped to donate my eggs to my brother, with the hopes of providing him with a child of his own. Can I do that now? Is it safe? Smart?
There are other things, too. I know I got this disease for a reason. Am I doing what I'm supposed to? How do I do more? How do I do what I love/want/need to do without putting my family further in the hole?
I think there are so many things that people can't tell you to think about, b/c they don't know it themselves. The only people who seem to understand what I am feeling are other cancer patients. Especially my kin in the young adult cancer community. We all face these issues. There are so many things that young adults need to deal with when diganosed.....these things go WAY beyond medical issues. Dating. Sexuality. Long-term planning. Insurance. Credit. Mental health. Funeral arrangements. Children. Marriage. Life.
So, while I am happy that I have made it through the chemo, the surgeries, etc., I am still apprehensive about the rest of it. What's next? Who knows. That scares the crap out of me. I thought I had a good handle on my life this time last year. Then, the c-bomb dropped. If that can happen without notice, what else could happen? It's been a hell of a year - I hope this next 12 months goes a lot more smoothly.
*sigh* Stupid cancer.
I feel like I don't want to mess with karma. I don't want to jinx myself. I don't dare admit to myself, completely and totally, that I am cancer-free. I feel like I am giving the cancer permission to come back if I do. I am usually an optimist, and I am not generally a superstitious person, however, I feel like it's bad luck to celebrate. I worry that if I celebrate being in remission and cancer-free, I will be so much more disappointed if the cancer recurs.
As I've said before, I don't think I've dealt with the anger related to my diagnosis, either. There has to be anger. How can there NOT be? I unknowingly had this demon enter my system and try to take it over. For a stubborn, control-type New Yorker, this pisses me off. Don't try to do something without my permission in my body. Don't you DARE. And yet, it did. It grew in there for who knows how long, and it took a doctor sticking a tube up my ass to find out.
Then, I had to not only put my life on hold, but I had to uproot the lives of my kids, my husband, my parents, my brothers, friends, family, colleagues, my employer and co-workers, etc. I had to make the dreaded phone call - "Hey, Happy Memorial Day, how's things? Good to hear - by the way, I have cancer." I don't think anyone that hasn't had to make that call has any idea how hard it is. I can't imagine what it's like to take that call.
And, there are other things that I worry about. Things like, with colon cancer, you have a higher rate of ovarian cancer, breast cancer, uterine cancer. So, do I need to have those things taken care of now, as a pre-emptive measure?
Will my kids/brothers/parents get this disease?
I had hoped to donate my eggs to my brother, with the hopes of providing him with a child of his own. Can I do that now? Is it safe? Smart?
There are other things, too. I know I got this disease for a reason. Am I doing what I'm supposed to? How do I do more? How do I do what I love/want/need to do without putting my family further in the hole?
I think there are so many things that people can't tell you to think about, b/c they don't know it themselves. The only people who seem to understand what I am feeling are other cancer patients. Especially my kin in the young adult cancer community. We all face these issues. There are so many things that young adults need to deal with when diganosed.....these things go WAY beyond medical issues. Dating. Sexuality. Long-term planning. Insurance. Credit. Mental health. Funeral arrangements. Children. Marriage. Life.
So, while I am happy that I have made it through the chemo, the surgeries, etc., I am still apprehensive about the rest of it. What's next? Who knows. That scares the crap out of me. I thought I had a good handle on my life this time last year. Then, the c-bomb dropped. If that can happen without notice, what else could happen? It's been a hell of a year - I hope this next 12 months goes a lot more smoothly.
*sigh* Stupid cancer.
Comments:
I
still remember that day we got the phone call - Kevin and I were driving to
Chicago and I knew something was up...
I spent that entire weekend in prayer...
we will be thinking of you this weekend, and we are so proud of you for kicking the cancer and your fight and just being michelle. We love you!
I spent that entire weekend in prayer...
we will be thinking of you this weekend, and we are so proud of you for kicking the cancer and your fight and just being michelle. We love you!
May
21, 2009 at 7:02 AM
Hang
in there, sweetie. Hopefully this will be the hardest cancer-versary, and the
rest will be a piece of cake :)
May
21, 2009 at 7:37 AM
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