Please go
to this website and watch the
pictures scrolling on the top.
And here.
Yes, that's me and my babies. (Insert mother-bird-fluffing-her-wings here...)
:-)
And here.
Yes, that's me and my babies. (Insert mother-bird-fluffing-her-wings here...)
:-)
Comments:
Whidbey
Woman said...
What
a cute pic!
May
22, 2009 at 11:46 AM
Love
your glasses. They look really cute on you. You three look so happy!
TWC's website is very well done. I applaud their efforts! I am impressed.
TWC's website is very well done. I applaud their efforts! I am impressed.
May
22, 2009 at 4:07 PM
Later:
I think I
came to an epiphany last night. I think I have been putting too much stock into
this cancer-versary thing. I have been dwelling on it, like it's a milestone
birthday that I have been dreading.
When I realized that, I also realized that I don't dread birthdays. (I dread my brothers' birthdays more than my own - that means that they are getting older, and by proxy, I'm getting older....anyways....)
I don't dread turning 30, 40, 50, etc. I celebrate my birthday. (Who wouldn't - I was born in the bicentennial year, on the longest day of the year, and my day is always full of sunshine and celebration, as the arrival of summer is finally here!) I consider birthdays nothing more than a day to celebrate being alive. And, I'm going to treat my cancer-versary the same way.
Yes, it sucks that I have cancer. Yes, it sucks that my life has been turned upside-down. Yes, it sucks that I will have to be dealing with this for the rest of my life.
But I HAVE the rest of my life.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I am going to focus on. I got a chance that so few others get - to live my life understanding, in no uncertain terms, how very precious life is. I had, at the age of 31 (young, really, in the scheme of things), a life-altering experience that has allowed me to see the beauty where others only see darkness and ugliness. I have been given the gift of understanding that I need to really listen, hear, see, smell, touch, taste, feel, LIVE life. I need to look for the upside of everything, because there are more than enough downers in the world.
Is this a front? Sort of. I am still scared shitless. I am still the kind of person that will take this disease with a healthy dose of reality, and understand that I could relapse. The cancer could come back.
But, it might not.
So, while I will go forward looking at life optimistically but realistically, I offer you one piece of unsolicited advice. Please don't wait for a life-threatening or life-altering experience before you start to see the beauty in the small things. Rain is generally considered to be a downer - today, I see the beauty in the silver, fluffy clouds. Last night, I sat outside on my patio and watched the rain fall. I watched the birds shake the droplets off their feathers, much like a dog would. I see my kids marvelling in the water falling from the sky.
Is this an epiphany? I don't know. I know that I am at peace with my diagnosis, for now. I know that I haven't been at peace for a while. I have been pushing through the fear, the anger, the emotional roller-coaster by trying to save others from this disease. I can make a difference but I can't do it alone. So, I will do what I can, when I can, and know that I am doing something positive towards these causes I care about. I will love and cherish the people that I have met throughout this journey, because most of them are also dealing with the same issues. I will support them, love them, and hopefully help them in some small way.
In the meantime, I am going to enjoy what I have, enjoy what I have been given, and celebrate the fact that I am, officially, as of tomorrow, a cancer survivor. I am a thriver. And, my favorite - I am a CANCER ASS-KICKER! I love this title, and while I know it may offend some people, it's something I am damn proud of. To me, survivor is a good word. Thriver is a good word. But, Cancer Ass-Kicker captures the fight, the struggle, and the life behind what I have done. And I'm so proud to be here.
Love to you all...
When I realized that, I also realized that I don't dread birthdays. (I dread my brothers' birthdays more than my own - that means that they are getting older, and by proxy, I'm getting older....anyways....)
I don't dread turning 30, 40, 50, etc. I celebrate my birthday. (Who wouldn't - I was born in the bicentennial year, on the longest day of the year, and my day is always full of sunshine and celebration, as the arrival of summer is finally here!) I consider birthdays nothing more than a day to celebrate being alive. And, I'm going to treat my cancer-versary the same way.
Yes, it sucks that I have cancer. Yes, it sucks that my life has been turned upside-down. Yes, it sucks that I will have to be dealing with this for the rest of my life.
But I HAVE the rest of my life.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I am going to focus on. I got a chance that so few others get - to live my life understanding, in no uncertain terms, how very precious life is. I had, at the age of 31 (young, really, in the scheme of things), a life-altering experience that has allowed me to see the beauty where others only see darkness and ugliness. I have been given the gift of understanding that I need to really listen, hear, see, smell, touch, taste, feel, LIVE life. I need to look for the upside of everything, because there are more than enough downers in the world.
Is this a front? Sort of. I am still scared shitless. I am still the kind of person that will take this disease with a healthy dose of reality, and understand that I could relapse. The cancer could come back.
But, it might not.
So, while I will go forward looking at life optimistically but realistically, I offer you one piece of unsolicited advice. Please don't wait for a life-threatening or life-altering experience before you start to see the beauty in the small things. Rain is generally considered to be a downer - today, I see the beauty in the silver, fluffy clouds. Last night, I sat outside on my patio and watched the rain fall. I watched the birds shake the droplets off their feathers, much like a dog would. I see my kids marvelling in the water falling from the sky.
Is this an epiphany? I don't know. I know that I am at peace with my diagnosis, for now. I know that I haven't been at peace for a while. I have been pushing through the fear, the anger, the emotional roller-coaster by trying to save others from this disease. I can make a difference but I can't do it alone. So, I will do what I can, when I can, and know that I am doing something positive towards these causes I care about. I will love and cherish the people that I have met throughout this journey, because most of them are also dealing with the same issues. I will support them, love them, and hopefully help them in some small way.
In the meantime, I am going to enjoy what I have, enjoy what I have been given, and celebrate the fact that I am, officially, as of tomorrow, a cancer survivor. I am a thriver. And, my favorite - I am a CANCER ASS-KICKER! I love this title, and while I know it may offend some people, it's something I am damn proud of. To me, survivor is a good word. Thriver is a good word. But, Cancer Ass-Kicker captures the fight, the struggle, and the life behind what I have done. And I'm so proud to be here.
Love to you all...
Comments:
Amanda: said...
Awesome
:)
May
22, 2009 at 3:46 PM
I
AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
May
22, 2009 at 4:20 PM
You
have just taken a huge step to the world you now hold in you hands.You sound
like you have just passed a milestone in this cancer free world you now are
Blessed with.I truly like how the words are showing just how you have grown
with this terrible monster that took over you life for a short time but that
you have regained that life back.You stay strong...the words you use are only
the words your heart feel and it only shows how your words are your feelings
and are well said.Oh and i checked out the other web sites you talked about and
the pic. are truly awesoome.they are price less.my love every day sweetie to
all of you.
May
23, 2009 at 5:14 AM
I've
been following your struggle, wondering how I will deal with it when the time
comes. I knew you'd have that "epiphany" eventually. You are a very
wise woman. Thanks for helping me thru.
Now ENJOY your weekend and LIVE your life to the fullest!!!
Now ENJOY your weekend and LIVE your life to the fullest!!!
May
23, 2009 at 7:34 PM
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