Yesterday,
Cancer Treatment Centers of America were celebrating their one-year
anniversary, and I wanted to take the chance to introduce Levi to this amazing
place. I also had an ulterior motive, which I will tell you when the time
is right, but not a moment sooner. (I love keeping you in
suspense.) Mom and Dad wanted to spend some time with the kids, so Levi
and I dropped Julia and Kevin off at their house before heading out. Went
out to the car, and poof - the car won't start. Blech! After a bit
of diagnosing the problem (by Dad and Levi, not me - my diagnosis - the damn
thing won't work!), we jumped the car and headed to the auto parts store, who
thankfully replaced the battery that was just over a year old, free of
charge! And, with that, we headed to CTCA.
It was a good time - they really do have a beautiful facility, and it is always nice to see everyone. Those events are a little intimidating, if only for the fact that you have tons of people there and you don't know them, or their situation. I want to talk with folks, but when they are huddled with their families - not the right time. I think I am going to start donating my time on the weekend to the patients, and try to spend more time there, helping out. ***hopefully***
I wanted to blog for a moment about the car battery thing, because it highlighted something that I don't think people that haven't personally experienced chemo brain can fully comprehend. When we figured out that the battery had died, Dad asked me when we had replaced it. I said I didn't think we had, and both Levi and Dad were sure that we did. I had absolutely no recollection of this, and promptly and vehemently told them they were wrong. When we looked at the battery and it indicated that it had shipped in November of 2008, I knew that I was probably the wrong one.
We got home and I looked at the receipt folder for the car - sure enough, the car batter was replaced on December 9, 2008. That was about a week before my last chemo treatment. I have absolutely NO recollection of this event. It's not like I vaguely remember this - I have absolutely NO idea this happened. Apparently, in talking with Levi and Dad, I was the one that the battery went bad on last time, too.
To have such an event be erased from memory is terrifying. What else happened that I don't remember? What else have I experienced that is gone? This reminded me of how precious memories are, and how important it is that I document everything. Or, the important things. Or, the things that I feel are note-worthy. It really bothers me that I have no recollection of this event - the more I think about it, the more terrified I get. I really am so frustrated, even though I know there isn't anything I can/will do about it. The only thing I can do is use this as a reminder of how precious life is.
*sigh* Stupid cancer!
It was a good time - they really do have a beautiful facility, and it is always nice to see everyone. Those events are a little intimidating, if only for the fact that you have tons of people there and you don't know them, or their situation. I want to talk with folks, but when they are huddled with their families - not the right time. I think I am going to start donating my time on the weekend to the patients, and try to spend more time there, helping out. ***hopefully***
I wanted to blog for a moment about the car battery thing, because it highlighted something that I don't think people that haven't personally experienced chemo brain can fully comprehend. When we figured out that the battery had died, Dad asked me when we had replaced it. I said I didn't think we had, and both Levi and Dad were sure that we did. I had absolutely no recollection of this, and promptly and vehemently told them they were wrong. When we looked at the battery and it indicated that it had shipped in November of 2008, I knew that I was probably the wrong one.
We got home and I looked at the receipt folder for the car - sure enough, the car batter was replaced on December 9, 2008. That was about a week before my last chemo treatment. I have absolutely NO recollection of this event. It's not like I vaguely remember this - I have absolutely NO idea this happened. Apparently, in talking with Levi and Dad, I was the one that the battery went bad on last time, too.
To have such an event be erased from memory is terrifying. What else happened that I don't remember? What else have I experienced that is gone? This reminded me of how precious memories are, and how important it is that I document everything. Or, the important things. Or, the things that I feel are note-worthy. It really bothers me that I have no recollection of this event - the more I think about it, the more terrified I get. I really am so frustrated, even though I know there isn't anything I can/will do about it. The only thing I can do is use this as a reminder of how precious life is.
*sigh* Stupid cancer!
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