It looks
like we might be fighting a flu-like virus in our house. Julia came down with
what I assumed was just a cold or allergies this weekend. Post-nasal drip,
cough. Yesterday, slight fever later in the day. Last night, well....to be
correct.....earlier this morning (1:37, to be exact) she came in to my bedroom
with a tummy ache and a 102.6 fever. *sigh* Off I go, getting the towel over
her pillows, the mop bucket, a.k.a sick bucket, and some Tylenol. I had trouble
getting back to sleep b/c I was worried she was going to be sick. Alas, I was
lucky and am sleep-deprived this morning for no reason.
So far.
She woke up feeling better this morning, but still sporting a 99.9 fever. So, off she goes to daycare pumped full of Tylenol. The good news is that her tummy doesn't ache anymore. She's still coughing a little bit, and it's producing stuff so I know she's fighting something. I'm thinking this is a case of allergies/cold PLUS the flu-ish virus going around. As I hear it, basically our version here is high fever, cold symptoms, and the kids feel generally okay. I'm hoping that's all this is.
And, with that, my decision to keep Kevin home from school this week is a good one. There are two medically-fragile kids in his class (one battling cancer, the other waiting for a liver transplant) so I don't dare send him, knowing what we are fighting.
Looks like I have a legitimate reason to keep Kevin home, rather than the obviously selfish reason of wanting to see my baby get on the bus for his first day of school, since I can't do that tomorrow.
So far.
She woke up feeling better this morning, but still sporting a 99.9 fever. So, off she goes to daycare pumped full of Tylenol. The good news is that her tummy doesn't ache anymore. She's still coughing a little bit, and it's producing stuff so I know she's fighting something. I'm thinking this is a case of allergies/cold PLUS the flu-ish virus going around. As I hear it, basically our version here is high fever, cold symptoms, and the kids feel generally okay. I'm hoping that's all this is.
And, with that, my decision to keep Kevin home from school this week is a good one. There are two medically-fragile kids in his class (one battling cancer, the other waiting for a liver transplant) so I don't dare send him, knowing what we are fighting.
Looks like I have a legitimate reason to keep Kevin home, rather than the obviously selfish reason of wanting to see my baby get on the bus for his first day of school, since I can't do that tomorrow.
Later:
I was
watching "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" last night, which is one of
my favorite shows. I am addicted, and my husband thinks I'm nuts, to willingly
watch a show that makes me cry. I think it's amazing that these people all pull
together to make a difference in someone's life. Anyways, last night I was
watching the preview of next week's episode, and Trace Adkins (a country star)
is on the show. They focused on a comment he said.....it was something along
the lines of asking why he volunteers for these types of things, and his answer
was "...it feeds my soul..."
Wow.
That made me stop and think. In my latest therapy sessions and in some conversations with Levi, my advocacy has come up - my dedication to it, my desire to do it, WHY I do it, and I can't give an answer. There aren't words for it - my work isn't something I want to do, so much as it's something I need to do.
I was speaking with Lynn Lane of Voices of Survivors a couple of weeks ago, and we talked about why we do what we do. Why do we feel compelled to remain engrossed in the cancer world, to help others and to constantly talk about our story, etc. Lynn is a testicular cancer survivor, and he was diagnosed about 2 weeks before I was. I didn't know Lynn back then, but I am honored and humbled to consider him a friend. He's an amazing person with a wonderful backstory and an even more fabulous mission. We were talking about his vision for his foundation and eventually moved onto a conversation about how people struggle to understand why and how we know this is what we are supposed to be doing. Lynn and I were grateful to have someone else understand this NEED and not have the need to explain the whys.
I think Lynn would understand the concept that what I do FEEDS MY SOUL. I thought this was an amazingly accurate statement. I have this feeling of necessity about my advocacy. I must do this - it is a choice, but not really, if that makes sense.
For me, when I look back at the person I was before my cancer diagnosis, I envision someone who wasn't comfortable. I see someone squirming in their own body, uncomfortable with who they are, their direction in life, etc. I see someone constantly looking for something more. Something better. Something that feels like home.
After my diagnosis and treatment, I feel like I've found my home, so to speak. I know, in my heart, that my advocacy and my work with other cancer patients and my blogging and my volunteering are what I need to be doing. They, as Trace said, feed my soul. I am finally where I am supposed to be. THIS is what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm meant to talk with other patients. I'm meant to advocate for these people, for people like me. I'm meant to do something better with my life. I'm meant to change the world.
And, I'm going to. After all, this is what feeds my soul.
Wow.
That made me stop and think. In my latest therapy sessions and in some conversations with Levi, my advocacy has come up - my dedication to it, my desire to do it, WHY I do it, and I can't give an answer. There aren't words for it - my work isn't something I want to do, so much as it's something I need to do.
I was speaking with Lynn Lane of Voices of Survivors a couple of weeks ago, and we talked about why we do what we do. Why do we feel compelled to remain engrossed in the cancer world, to help others and to constantly talk about our story, etc. Lynn is a testicular cancer survivor, and he was diagnosed about 2 weeks before I was. I didn't know Lynn back then, but I am honored and humbled to consider him a friend. He's an amazing person with a wonderful backstory and an even more fabulous mission. We were talking about his vision for his foundation and eventually moved onto a conversation about how people struggle to understand why and how we know this is what we are supposed to be doing. Lynn and I were grateful to have someone else understand this NEED and not have the need to explain the whys.
I think Lynn would understand the concept that what I do FEEDS MY SOUL. I thought this was an amazingly accurate statement. I have this feeling of necessity about my advocacy. I must do this - it is a choice, but not really, if that makes sense.
For me, when I look back at the person I was before my cancer diagnosis, I envision someone who wasn't comfortable. I see someone squirming in their own body, uncomfortable with who they are, their direction in life, etc. I see someone constantly looking for something more. Something better. Something that feels like home.
After my diagnosis and treatment, I feel like I've found my home, so to speak. I know, in my heart, that my advocacy and my work with other cancer patients and my blogging and my volunteering are what I need to be doing. They, as Trace said, feed my soul. I am finally where I am supposed to be. THIS is what I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm meant to talk with other patients. I'm meant to advocate for these people, for people like me. I'm meant to do something better with my life. I'm meant to change the world.
And, I'm going to. After all, this is what feeds my soul.
Comments:
Carol
Pack Urban said...
I
love Trace Adkins and I can just hear his voice in my head saying those words,
"It feeds my soul." Amazing and real. I am glad you found your
calling. It suits you.
I'm at the cancer center right now getting my new chemo, Camptosar. Hoping this works.
I'm at the cancer center right now getting my new chemo, Camptosar. Hoping this works.
October
13, 2009 at 8:24 AM
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