I'm
sitting at work. listening to a friend's CD. His name is Matthew Zachary, and
he's the founder of I'm Too Young For This, which you have often seen me talk
about. He's an accomplished musician, and his work is unbelievable. I'm honored
to know such a talented person.
It dawned on me as I sit here listening to his CD that, without my cancer, I wouldn't have been exposed to his music. Him. So many other people and experiences. People like Lynn from my previous post. Jack, Kairol, Whidbey, Tina, Carol, Kim, Becca, Heat, Jackie, etc. There are so many people that I know, both virtually through facebook, the blogs, etc., as well as in person, and I am SO GLAD that I know them. I hate that the reason we have a connection is the cancer, but it's one of the blessings of this dratted disease.
I have been given a sense of belonging in a club that I never applied for. I have been given a sense of community and purpose that I could have only dreamed about before my diagnosis.
Interesting....
Can you tell the anti-depressants are working? No more ranting, raving, crazy, bitch-y, make-people-call-me-to-check-on-me posts.....well, none recently, and hopefully none in the future. I finally feel whole, like I'm ME again. Perhaps this is a combination of me accepting certain things, the therapist helping me work through issues I had no idea I even had, and the meds? Who knows.....either way, I'm okay with it.
It dawned on me as I sit here listening to his CD that, without my cancer, I wouldn't have been exposed to his music. Him. So many other people and experiences. People like Lynn from my previous post. Jack, Kairol, Whidbey, Tina, Carol, Kim, Becca, Heat, Jackie, etc. There are so many people that I know, both virtually through facebook, the blogs, etc., as well as in person, and I am SO GLAD that I know them. I hate that the reason we have a connection is the cancer, but it's one of the blessings of this dratted disease.
I have been given a sense of belonging in a club that I never applied for. I have been given a sense of community and purpose that I could have only dreamed about before my diagnosis.
Interesting....
Can you tell the anti-depressants are working? No more ranting, raving, crazy, bitch-y, make-people-call-me-to-check-on-me posts.....well, none recently, and hopefully none in the future. I finally feel whole, like I'm ME again. Perhaps this is a combination of me accepting certain things, the therapist helping me work through issues I had no idea I even had, and the meds? Who knows.....either way, I'm okay with it.
Comments:
Tina said...
There
are so many blessings in the mist of this thing called cancer. I also feel
blessed to have met some wonderful people (including you!). Your blogs have
helped me process some things, and I know I'll get through the
"aftermath" much better because of you.
Glad you are feeling better--keep up the good work! We need you on the frontlines!!
Glad you are feeling better--keep up the good work! We need you on the frontlines!!
October
14, 2009 at 8:30 AM
Later:
Sometimes,
when I am typing an email to someone I don't know and I refer to myself as a
cancer survivor, or (more accurately) colon cancer ass-kicker, I have to stop
and think about that statement. I had cancer. Holy crap.
It almost takes me by surprise at times. I know that doesn't make sense, but there you go. Most of the time, it's a part of who I am. I had cancer. Done. Understood. Got it, thanks. And then, there are times when I have to stop and take a deep breath, because I HAD CANCER.
I don't know why, at those times, it hits me so hard. It's like a punch in the gut when this happens, and I have to stop, take a moment and think about the reality. I am, on top of everything else, a colon cancer ass-kicker.
I wondered today if this has something to do with occasionally feeling like I'm an observer in my own life. There are times when I feel like I'm watching what I'm doing, from afar. (I don't think I'm losing my head - I think this is just how I handle things...). Maybe this is why the cancer sneaks up on me sometimes.
Anyways, I'm full of random thoughts today, aren't I?
It almost takes me by surprise at times. I know that doesn't make sense, but there you go. Most of the time, it's a part of who I am. I had cancer. Done. Understood. Got it, thanks. And then, there are times when I have to stop and take a deep breath, because I HAD CANCER.
I don't know why, at those times, it hits me so hard. It's like a punch in the gut when this happens, and I have to stop, take a moment and think about the reality. I am, on top of everything else, a colon cancer ass-kicker.
I wondered today if this has something to do with occasionally feeling like I'm an observer in my own life. There are times when I feel like I'm watching what I'm doing, from afar. (I don't think I'm losing my head - I think this is just how I handle things...). Maybe this is why the cancer sneaks up on me sometimes.
Anyways, I'm full of random thoughts today, aren't I?
Comments:
love
love love the new blog look...
random thoughts are great...
you might have had cancer, but you are still the same old michelle to me... I would not want anyone else!! lots of love :P
random thoughts are great...
you might have had cancer, but you are still the same old michelle to me... I would not want anyone else!! lots of love :P
October
14, 2009 at 7:41 PM
THIS
HAPPENS TO ME TOO!! Yeah, I had cancer ... Holy shit! I HAD CANCER! I get it.
Totally get it.
October
15, 2009 at 5:29 PM
No comments:
Post a Comment