When I
started this blog, my main intention was to keep friends and family informed of
my progress through this journey. I was afraid that I wasn't going to have the
energy, the strength, or quite frankly the desire to talk with everyone to tell
them how I was doing, discuss my progress, etc. After having to make so many
phone calls the weekend I was diagnosed and having to go through the story over
and over and over again, I realized that I couldn't do that every week, nor
could I expect my family to do the same. I also came to realize that talking
about my disease and letting those feelings out helped me to release the
anxiety and fear that I was feeling. It also allowed me to accept that I have
these feelings, and putting them on paper (virtually anyways) seems to give me
the freedom to let things go so I can move on with my life.
An unexpected side benefit of this blog was that it provided others with information about this thing called colon cancer. It has allowed others to see that young people CAN and DO get colon cancer, and that you can still live your life while fighting the big C. I have allowed this blog to be posted on the internet freely, and my hopes in doing that were that other patients and survivors would find this, and that my struggles might help them, give them hope, etc. I have been blessed beyond belief to have others contact me, telling me that they enjoy my posts and that they get a sense of hope from what I write. I try to be honest (though, as my brother told me and made me realize, I do hold some very personal things, thoughts, etc. back) and to provide people with a very real idea of what going through something like this is.
I have (virtually and personally) met some of the most amazing people through this blog. I have been contacted by people (sometimes weekly or more often) telling me that they came across my blog on the internet or through other people. I have been told that I provide them with information, hope, etc. In truth, these people provide me with a sense of purpose, a sense that I have been given this challenge because I CAN beat this, and because I am meant to move forward with my story. It provides me with a feeling of meaning. It helps me to push forward, to keep fighting, and to know that I am making a difference in someone's life. If I can affect ONE person, it's all worth it.
It also lets me know that I am having a positive impact on my kids, and providing them with an amazing example. I feel like this is going to be a good thing for my family (at least, with respect to some things), and that we are all stronger, better people because of what we have had to go through (both immediate and extended family).
I have had people go and get their colonoscopies because of what I have gone through. These are people that wouldn't have otherwise gone. I have had people come up at work and ask me about their results, their symptoms, their family members. I have met the most amazing people through this journey.
And, Carol and Tina are some of the people that I have met (virtually, anyways). Carol and I have been in contact since the first of the year - she and I ended our chemo at around the same time (I believe) and we both had our ports removed earlier this year. We were able to talk about these procedures, and it's such a relief when you are going through something like this to have someone to talk through. I am not sure how Tina found me (through Carol, I suspect), but I have been in contact with Tina over the past month or so. Tina lives in MN near where we lived for 4 years, and was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. She just started chemo yesterday, and is on her road to survivorship and kicking this thing. Carol and I have been trying to provide Tina with information to make this a little easier, and I hope that my blog has at least given Tina some hope.
So, Tina - keep on keepin' on. It's not a fun road. It's not a journey any of us would have chosen to take. However, we were chosen because we can get through it. We can beat this. And, we can become active, loud, effective advocates for this cause. We can teach others through our experience that prevention and testing is the key to eradicating this disease in the future. We can help others understand the symptoms, and push them to get the their colonoscopies. And, we can help support others going through this, to let them know that they aren't alone and that there are others that truly, honestly, and completely understand what they are going through. For me, my heart lies with colon cancer awareness and young adult cancer patient/survivor awareness. And, I'll keep fighting. It's the only choice I have. :-)
An unexpected side benefit of this blog was that it provided others with information about this thing called colon cancer. It has allowed others to see that young people CAN and DO get colon cancer, and that you can still live your life while fighting the big C. I have allowed this blog to be posted on the internet freely, and my hopes in doing that were that other patients and survivors would find this, and that my struggles might help them, give them hope, etc. I have been blessed beyond belief to have others contact me, telling me that they enjoy my posts and that they get a sense of hope from what I write. I try to be honest (though, as my brother told me and made me realize, I do hold some very personal things, thoughts, etc. back) and to provide people with a very real idea of what going through something like this is.
I have (virtually and personally) met some of the most amazing people through this blog. I have been contacted by people (sometimes weekly or more often) telling me that they came across my blog on the internet or through other people. I have been told that I provide them with information, hope, etc. In truth, these people provide me with a sense of purpose, a sense that I have been given this challenge because I CAN beat this, and because I am meant to move forward with my story. It provides me with a feeling of meaning. It helps me to push forward, to keep fighting, and to know that I am making a difference in someone's life. If I can affect ONE person, it's all worth it.
It also lets me know that I am having a positive impact on my kids, and providing them with an amazing example. I feel like this is going to be a good thing for my family (at least, with respect to some things), and that we are all stronger, better people because of what we have had to go through (both immediate and extended family).
I have had people go and get their colonoscopies because of what I have gone through. These are people that wouldn't have otherwise gone. I have had people come up at work and ask me about their results, their symptoms, their family members. I have met the most amazing people through this journey.
And, Carol and Tina are some of the people that I have met (virtually, anyways). Carol and I have been in contact since the first of the year - she and I ended our chemo at around the same time (I believe) and we both had our ports removed earlier this year. We were able to talk about these procedures, and it's such a relief when you are going through something like this to have someone to talk through. I am not sure how Tina found me (through Carol, I suspect), but I have been in contact with Tina over the past month or so. Tina lives in MN near where we lived for 4 years, and was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. She just started chemo yesterday, and is on her road to survivorship and kicking this thing. Carol and I have been trying to provide Tina with information to make this a little easier, and I hope that my blog has at least given Tina some hope.
So, Tina - keep on keepin' on. It's not a fun road. It's not a journey any of us would have chosen to take. However, we were chosen because we can get through it. We can beat this. And, we can become active, loud, effective advocates for this cause. We can teach others through our experience that prevention and testing is the key to eradicating this disease in the future. We can help others understand the symptoms, and push them to get the their colonoscopies. And, we can help support others going through this, to let them know that they aren't alone and that there are others that truly, honestly, and completely understand what they are going through. For me, my heart lies with colon cancer awareness and young adult cancer patient/survivor awareness. And, I'll keep fighting. It's the only choice I have. :-)
Comments:
Tina said...
Michelle,
you have succeeded in your desire to help others! I found your blog thru a
search not long after I was diagnosed, and each time I go thru something new I
go back to your blog and reread your experience. Its helped me more than I can
say. Your e-mails and comments (and Carol's too!) make me feel strong and
determined to make it thru this. And they often make me smile :-) I started my
blog for the same reasons, to get info out to my friends and family (after 1
weekend of many calls and e-mails, I knew I had to start a blog!), and I also
had the thought that if I share alot of details, maybe I can help someone else
thru this thing called cancer. I hope I can be as inspirational as you and
Carol have been!!
oh-I only go in on Wed., and they give me the Leukovorin and Oxiliplatin together, for 2 hours. On Friday I'll have a nurse come to the house to disconnect my pump, flush my port with saline, and put in some heparin to prevent blood clots. I am fortunate that my ins. co. agreed to pay for the home visit, some don't.
oh-I only go in on Wed., and they give me the Leukovorin and Oxiliplatin together, for 2 hours. On Friday I'll have a nurse come to the house to disconnect my pump, flush my port with saline, and put in some heparin to prevent blood clots. I am fortunate that my ins. co. agreed to pay for the home visit, some don't.
April
9, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Yes
your blogging does help people. Never forget that.
All the best to you.
All the best to you.
April
9, 2009 at 1:08 PM
I
thank God for allowing me to find you and Tina.
My mother wanted me to keep a journal during cancer treatment but I honestly didn't have the strength to do it; physically or emotionally. Now I regret that I didn't. Reading your blog has helped me to relive that.
My husband thinks reading what other patients are going through is a depressing thing. I told him I think it's inspirational!
It's helped me realize I am not alone in how I felt going through treatment and that I'm not alone now.
My mother wanted me to keep a journal during cancer treatment but I honestly didn't have the strength to do it; physically or emotionally. Now I regret that I didn't. Reading your blog has helped me to relive that.
My husband thinks reading what other patients are going through is a depressing thing. I told him I think it's inspirational!
It's helped me realize I am not alone in how I felt going through treatment and that I'm not alone now.
April
9, 2009 at 3:00 PM
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