Well, as
you can imagine, I was pretty tired from the chemo this week, hence, the lack
of posts. However, I will take some time today to try to catch you all up. Here
goes....
I think the last post was from day 2. After I came home from day 2, I was exhausted, and slept. That was pretty consistent with that they expected. The odd thing was that I wasn't eating. And, if you know me, you know that I usually don't have a problem with eating. However, on days 1 and 2, my appetite seemed to, well, disappear. I was eating more out of habit than anything. By 4 pm on day 2, nothing sounded good to me. Mom had made a delicious chili, and I had a small bowl of that, then spent the rest of the night pretty much resting and sleeping. I had AWFUL heartburn though (I know, you are probably banging your hand on your forehead going DUH!), which I did try to alleviate with Pepcid and Tums. Yeah, um, that didn't work. So, I was up until midnight with this wrenching pain in my upper abdomen and finally fell asleep with a little relief. Until 3:30, when the pain woke me from a dead sleep. I immediately sat up, and boom - the pain went away. Great. Well, at least I knew it was heartburn. So, when I went to the drs office on Thursday to have the pump removed, I spoke with them about it, and was immediately surrounded by 4 nurses and a PA. They were concerned that I was having a side effect from the chemo, but decided to see if the meds for heartburn alleviated it. And, good news - it has.
Beyond those two things, the biggest issue I have is the continued fatigue and the sensitivity to cold drinks. On day 2 and some of day 3, I had sensitivity to cold, whether it be by drink, the AC, etc. It's getting better, though I am still a little sensitivie to it. I have some sensitivity in my hands and arms to cold (I guess I better start looking on-line for gloves - it's bad when I take things out of the freezer - ouch!), but the throat is by far the worse. Do you know how hard it is to drink lukewarm water or Gatorade or anything in the 115 degree heat? And, I can't have cereal for breakfast (usually, a staple for me) because the milk is too cold. And, then I go to a restaurant for dinner, I have to swish the drink around in my mouth (even though I order it with no ice) to make it warm enough to drink. Pisses me right off.
So, I think that's my good chemo roundup. Overall, I will give it a 3 out of 5 stars. I am thoroughly unimpressed with this all, especially knowing how crappy I felt this time around, and with the added incentive of this being cumulative drugs, meaning that the side effects will get worse. So, last night I actually got pissed off and angry, for pretty much the first time since I got sick. It sucks that I have to get worse to get better. It blows that I have to feel tired and exhausted and sick all the time. It absolutely sucks that I can't do the things that I want to, because I have to take these drugs to kill off the cancer. All I know is that if anyone finds a punching bag or something along those lines that has CANCER written on the front, sent it to me. I will be using it as an anger-management tool. I figure getting pissed off at this is a much better idea that getting sad or depressed. So, there should be some interesting blog posts here in the next couple of months. Something to look forward to, I guess.
I think the last post was from day 2. After I came home from day 2, I was exhausted, and slept. That was pretty consistent with that they expected. The odd thing was that I wasn't eating. And, if you know me, you know that I usually don't have a problem with eating. However, on days 1 and 2, my appetite seemed to, well, disappear. I was eating more out of habit than anything. By 4 pm on day 2, nothing sounded good to me. Mom had made a delicious chili, and I had a small bowl of that, then spent the rest of the night pretty much resting and sleeping. I had AWFUL heartburn though (I know, you are probably banging your hand on your forehead going DUH!), which I did try to alleviate with Pepcid and Tums. Yeah, um, that didn't work. So, I was up until midnight with this wrenching pain in my upper abdomen and finally fell asleep with a little relief. Until 3:30, when the pain woke me from a dead sleep. I immediately sat up, and boom - the pain went away. Great. Well, at least I knew it was heartburn. So, when I went to the drs office on Thursday to have the pump removed, I spoke with them about it, and was immediately surrounded by 4 nurses and a PA. They were concerned that I was having a side effect from the chemo, but decided to see if the meds for heartburn alleviated it. And, good news - it has.
Beyond those two things, the biggest issue I have is the continued fatigue and the sensitivity to cold drinks. On day 2 and some of day 3, I had sensitivity to cold, whether it be by drink, the AC, etc. It's getting better, though I am still a little sensitivie to it. I have some sensitivity in my hands and arms to cold (I guess I better start looking on-line for gloves - it's bad when I take things out of the freezer - ouch!), but the throat is by far the worse. Do you know how hard it is to drink lukewarm water or Gatorade or anything in the 115 degree heat? And, I can't have cereal for breakfast (usually, a staple for me) because the milk is too cold. And, then I go to a restaurant for dinner, I have to swish the drink around in my mouth (even though I order it with no ice) to make it warm enough to drink. Pisses me right off.
So, I think that's my good chemo roundup. Overall, I will give it a 3 out of 5 stars. I am thoroughly unimpressed with this all, especially knowing how crappy I felt this time around, and with the added incentive of this being cumulative drugs, meaning that the side effects will get worse. So, last night I actually got pissed off and angry, for pretty much the first time since I got sick. It sucks that I have to get worse to get better. It blows that I have to feel tired and exhausted and sick all the time. It absolutely sucks that I can't do the things that I want to, because I have to take these drugs to kill off the cancer. All I know is that if anyone finds a punching bag or something along those lines that has CANCER written on the front, sent it to me. I will be using it as an anger-management tool. I figure getting pissed off at this is a much better idea that getting sad or depressed. So, there should be some interesting blog posts here in the next couple of months. Something to look forward to, I guess.
Later:
I have to
say, I don't think this will be the "best" birthday I will ever have,
but it won't be the worst. I have to look at the silver lining (and, if you
have read the other posts, you will see that I am kind of a cup-half-full
person), and here it is. I am not dying. They found the cancer early enough to
get it the hell out of my body, and now we are fighting it's spread. I am not
giving up. And, I get to celebrate my 32nd birthday with my family and some
friends. My mom is here, Levi's mom is here, our friends are driving up from
Tucson, and my dad will probably arrive today or early tomorrow. Really, it's
not a bad deal, overall. Well, except for the cancer. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
ME!!!! And, cancer - be damned.
Comments:
Nancy said...
Hi
birthday girl....I am telling you what a wonderful day it is sweetie...it is
one day closer to getting that nasty cancer out of your body.and one day closer
to a life of many birthdays with all the family who hold you dear.I am so proud
of you and your strength.Happy Birthday sweetie and many many more.God Bless
you Michelle:)xoxoxoxoxoxo
June
21, 2008 at 7:02 PM
mrsjenbuck said...
Kevin
and I are thinking of you...
happy birthday!
look for something special coming...
we love you!
jen & kevin
happy birthday!
look for something special coming...
we love you!
jen & kevin
June
22, 2008 at 7:59 AM
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