Wow - so,
as you can tell, it has taken me a while to recover from the frenzy that was my
birthday. Not only was my mom here, and working a SADD conference for work (by
the way, did you know that SADD doesn't stand for Students Against Drunk
Driving anymore - now it's Students Against Destructive Decisions or something
like that. Interesting...), but my mother-in-law Donna was here, along with our
friends Kevin and Shannon and their two babies. Then, at 5pm, my dad drove into
town. It was chaos, plain and simple. It was fun, but holy moses, was I tired.
Remember - I had just finished my first round of chemo two days prior. All I
can say is that I am so glad that I am an administrative assistant and not a
part planner - I couldn't keep up with that line of work. :-) They had me
hopping all day on Saturday.
Overall, it was a really nice weekend. It was so good to spend time with Donna and to see the kids interact with her. It's sad that she and the rest of the family live so far away, but we are really grateful that she was able to take the time to come down. I know both kids enjoyed the time they had with her.
Overall, it was a really nice weekend. It was so good to spend time with Donna and to see the kids interact with her. It's sad that she and the rest of the family live so far away, but we are really grateful that she was able to take the time to come down. I know both kids enjoyed the time they had with her.
Later:
So, one of the things that I don't think people realize about
chemo is that the side effects are long-term, they are lasting, and they don't
all occur at once. In my previous, BC (before cancer) life, I didn't know much
about chemo. Really, I knew the basics - it's used to try to fight cancer, and
usually given IV, which meant that I didn't want to ever have to have it, b/c I
am a big baby when it comes to needles. Ask my dad. I also knew that chemo had
side effects, and the biggest ones that I knew of were hair loss, fatigue and
nausea.
Now that I am in the midst of chemo, I am realizing that my
assumptions were right, but they weren't all there is to know about chemo.
Chemo is a brutal assault on your cells - both good and bad ones. This means
that while the chemo army men are attacking the cancer cells, they are also
attacking your blood cells, your immunity cells, etc. And, b/c of this, you
start feeling really crappy really quickly. I figured that I would have a
little but of leeway before I had to start dealing with the side effects of the
chemotherapy. Nope - BANG - first day and there you go.
So, while I have already posted I think in more detail than people
needed to know about the side effects, I also think it's important to post some
of the longer-term side effects. For example, I told you all about the cold
sensitivity. It sucks. There is no other way to describe it. Not being able to
enjoy a slushie or an ice-cold drink in the dead of summer is torture. If you
know me, you know that I carry a water bottle with me ALL THE TIME. It's red,
and usually filled with ice-cold water. Not anymore. Nothing ice-cold for me.
So, I was struggling with drinking enough water. Who wants to drink warm water
in the summer? I finally figured out from one of the ladies I keep in touch
with on a cancer bulletin board that I needed to flavor the water. DUH! So, now
I am enjoying slurp after slurp of warm, room-temperature lemonade. Doesn't
that make you want to join me?!?! :-)
And, the cold sensitivity isn't over. No, no. Now, I am having
reaction to the air conditioning indoors. I mean, all air conditioning. I had
to turn the temp in the house up yesterday, which made it easier for me to
breathe, but not for the other occupants to sleep. And, while the temp change
helped, it didn't make enough of a difference to allow me to breathe in deeply
without issues. So, I have started wearing a face mask (think surgeon's mask)
when I am doing certain things, especially in the kitchen, to avoid the feeling
of an asthma attack. Here's what happens - when I get a good, big whiff of
all-natural air conditioned air, my lungs feel like they cramp up. You know
how, when you work out or exert yourself, your lungs get a sort of
open-feeling? Like, you can take a good, long, deep breath for the first time
in a long time? Then, imagine that feeling, then walking into the ice cooler at
the grocery store, or outside in MN in the dead of winter. Can you imagine that
freezing feeling? That's what I have almost all the time. Not fun.
What else? Oh - the mouth sores are a new one. They had warned me
about this - it was one bullet I was hoping to dodge, but it looks like I am
going to be able to experience most of the fun side effects. So, about three or
four days ago, I noticed that my mouth was kind of sore. I didn't pay much
attention b/c I wear a mouth-guard at night (aren't you glad I told you that?)
and I figured it was from that. Nope. So, I call into the doctors, and they
call me in an RX. Great - more medicine. I go to pick up the rinse today, and
am told that it has all kinds of fun things in it, including an anti-fungal
medicine, an anti-infection medicine, a hydrocortisone thing, tetracycline,
some other sucrose stuff that supposed to make it taste good, and a partridge
in a pear tree. And, instead of just rinsing before I went to bed (I was
thinking it was a hyped up Lysterine), I have to "swish and swallow"
4 times a day, and as needed. Um, really? And, it doesn't taste that bad when
you are using it, but the after-taste - GROSS. As my daughter would say,
"That's EESGUSTING!!!" (The D is left off to make it true-to-Julia
form.)
I think that is about all of the new side effects. They aren't
fun. And, they aren't going to go away. While I know the websites and doctors
and nurses and all of the websites will tell me not to say or think this, here
goes. I figure that if the chemo green-army-men (that's how I think of them)
are attacking enough of my good cells to make me feel this bad, think of what
they are doing to the cancer cells. And, that's what helps get me through.
A lady on a bulletin board I take part in told me that she had a
tee-shirt made that says "Cancer Sucks". I am thinking of getting one
made in green, maybe cammo? Something along the lines of green army men and
chemo and their battle against this damn cancer. While it probably won't be
politically correct or appropriate and it might offend someone, I don't care.
If that's what's going to help me push through this, then so be it.
I figure this one, while appropriate for me, isn't right to wear
to the grocery store. Oh well. I hope it makes you laugh. I know it makes me
laugh when I see it.
Comments:
eyeofamaryllis said...
http://www.gotcancer.org/store/detail/17325216/123/Cancer-Couldn't-Stop-Me-Baseball-Jersey#
Thought this might cheer you up!
-Sarah
Thought this might cheer you up!
-Sarah
June
24, 2008 at 7:09 PM
No comments:
Post a Comment